Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Whatever you give a woman...


Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.

Isn't that the truth? I laughed my arse off at that when a friend emailed it to me! I thought it was a pretty good way to end the last day of 2008. T
oday is supposed to be a time to reflect, with a pause to move forward beginning with the first day of the new year. Let's see.... I'll start with the obvious and go happier...

MS sucks. No point denying it. I had a few battles this year with it. Could have been a lot worse but could've been better. Some things I can do to make it better - get back exercising regularly, watch some of the things I eat that might possibly trigger some stuff, pay more attention to the little things my body tells me BEFORE they go big. Set my mental viewing of this crappy disease in a different angle. Accept that it does suck but try and focus on what doesn't suck (right now!).

I did one of those "get to know your friends" email chain thingys (I was in a giving mood) and one of the questions asked what you were scared of. My answer - progressing disability. I think that's all of our fears with this damned disease.... thought I was headed down that route with my right leg earlier this year and it turned out to be a back, and non-MS, issue. Sure, I got lucky (if that's the right word) this time and hopefully there won't be a next time....

Ike sucked big lemons! Reconnected with an old high school friend during my time off work and found out she and her husband had a tree come crashing through their house and haven't lived there since Ike hit. She lived on the north side of town. Luckily we pulled through will very fixable and livable damages. We made out a lot better
than that. Again, I lucked out with that one. The long shifts at work made for some very good over-time pay which my partner and I will be taking vacation with this year, so there was a positive side. An even better flip side ended up being the relationship that I now have with the in-laws. They were always super nice and very easy to get along with... but after them living with us for 2 months after Ike - we're family. It was even better this past holiday season just because how all of us were so close. Actually, it was a little too close considering my partner's sister started discussing her and her husband's sex life with me... (GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG) One more glass of wine and it was more okay.... HAHAHAHHHA

Life. In general. It's great! I'm in a very loving, wonderul, whole relationship that consumes me - in a great bursting with happiness way. I've never felt so close or shared such a deep connection with someone on a partner-level (my best friend qualifies for that but we've never slept together thank god!) Yeah, we fight. Yeah, we hurt each other's feelings sometimes and say the wrong things sometimes. We also talk - and more t
han that communicate with each other. I know that she's there for me through all the good, bad, and hosptial stays! HAHAHAH And, I know she knows I'm there for her in the same ways!! We give and take from each other so that neither one of us is too empty or too full of anything. Our balance is so amazing... I know there will be a post in the future about a fight or misunderstanding we've had. That's what happens. If we weren't two separate people, who just happened to fit together, it would be too boring.

Okay - enough of that gushy stuff, I know! But, it's
the happiest of my happies. Even in those blah moments, I've got a pretty good start on a way to start tipping the scales the other way.

New Year's resolutions will be another post
for tomorrow (or another day depending on how tonight goes..... : p ) We're headed over to the annual festivities as our friend's house to bring in the New Year.... I'm bringing the fireworks.... [hey, there's gotta be some advantage for being "the man" and being in the area I formally patrolled and know all the local bobbies!!!!!]

Have a wonderful last day of 2008. Here's a toast for the start of 2009!



Monday, December 29, 2008

Ahhhhh, the merriment is over (for a few days)...

What a wonderful Chrismas I had!!! I love the good things about the holidays! Christmas Eve is spent with the in-laws. Down in Galveston for the eve celebration back on the island. It looks better every time we head down there.... The downstairs has all its walls back and the deck is done and now we've got to re-populate the downstairs with all the fishing poles, fishing supplies, and all the brick a brack that comes with a beach house. We played sculptagories - making playdough turtles and sadles and laughing our arses off at the 16 year-old niece's attempt to make us guess "underwear"... and her blush creeping up her face as we thought of the most outrageous things to say to make it deeper!! AHAHHAHAHAHAHA

Our house was then taken over by my nephews and niece from the west side... They are growing up way too fast. My oldest nephew already looks 16 (he's about to be 12 next month) and got a nifty looking grown-up watch that makes him look that much older. They fight like hell right now - they can't touch each other, sit too close, or play the same game.... The oldest and youngest get along pretty good but the middle one fights with both, and he's the mama's boy which I think is hilarious! It's amazing how much they look like me and my 2 older brothers - I really hope my niece grows out of it and so far she's taking more after her mom which I'm very thankful for! I have a picture that's of me and my older brothers all lined up for a formal portrait when I'm about 2 years old, and I have one with my nephews and niece that's a very similar set up (it's the bath tub photo in theirs!) and I have them in a frame side by side.... I love it!

We actually v
entured out in the black Friday rerun this past Saturday. It actually wasn't too bad and caught some good deals. I'm very pissed at my Dallas Cowboys that could've been beaten by a Texas high school football quarter-finalist the way they played yesterday. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I'm doing pretty good. My back's still pissy at me but I think I'm moving a little better. I went back to work again today for another half-day. I ordered my lumbar support for my work chair and my jeep today. My best friend was cracking me
up on the phone today making cracks about my little old lady walk... and he hasn't even seen me walking yet!! LOL He's not too far off base but I'm not shuffling anymore here lately. I can even get up to a "brisk" pace every now and then if I really need to! I'm fighting the fatigue battle here though - I hate the fatigue demon... it's really a vampire that doesn't leave marks.... it just comes and sucks you dry and you don't even have a decent scar to point to and shout "Hey - it's not me - it's the F'ing Vampire... the fatigue vampire that sucked me"... I mean, at least then you'd have a cool scar, a scary story, and could stay up telling it after you recovered!! My only question I can't figure out is where would this F'ing Vampire bite you??? HMMMM?? Maybe the toes - or bewtween your toes that way he'd (or she'd) have to risk any toe-funk to really get you!!! [btw, Buffy seriously kicks ass!!]


Tuesday, December 23, 2008

I'm Baaaaaaaaaaaaack!...

to work for half the day today!! WOO HOOO!!! I didn't do anything of course - no one was doing anything because it was Christmas Eve Eve. It was very fun seeing the few people that were there! I also had quite a few treats on my desk that were still edible - having been left there just last week! My co-worker made these yummy peanut butter bites covered in powdered sugar and chocolate - very yummy!

It was good to know that I was missed - my co-worker th
at covers my duties when I'm not there was very anxious to get me back! I'm in one office and there's another office in another part of town. That office has 3 people for the job I do by myself (with a little help from my friends ... I think I caught Brass and Ivory's song tune blog-bug!) at my office.... So, why they missed me because they don't like doing my job it's still nice to be missed. AHHAHAHAHAH

The fall seemed to only jog my fear and hurt my pride - which was very good. I was sore for a couple of days and had to deal with some additional back spasms but no pain. Had I been a normal mary jane (there's another Tom Petty song for ya!) I'm sure the same soreness and spasms would have occurred.

I cannot freakin' believe tomorrow is Christmas Eve. All th
e presents are wrapped in the empty room with care.... My step-mom and I usually bake these holiday cookies (and I'm going to get this wrong) called Pepparkakor. Hold on a second and I'll Google them... they are tradiontal Sweedish cookies that are similar to ginger snaps in consistency but not in taste - they are SOOOO much better! I've got the recipe now and so am debating if I'm going to make them today or Saturday.... I sorta want to do them today so I can eat them today but I sorta want to chill out right now.



Here's my MERRY CHRISTMAS - HAPPY HOLIDAYS wish to y'all in blogdom! Enjoy the Christmas Cactus - they are very fun to grow! (that isn't mine but a Google pic of them!)

Friday, December 19, 2008

Son of an Irish whiskey salesman...

I fell this morning.

Why did I fall? I couldn't feel my right foot! A:LDKJFA:OIJFA:FJA:KFHAHFOOI@Q#(&(&
That's the way I feel!!!

GRRRR! For the first time in a quite a while I semi-sprang/rolled out of bed. I sleep where my right leg is the first on the ground... I got it down and was not able to get my left leg down before SPLAT!

I fell right on my right hip. And, when I say right hip - I mean smack dab where I did not feel any other part of me on the floor until I completely collapsed flat on my side. I don't remember the next 5 - 10 seconds after that.... I was too busy holding my breath waiting for the extreme pain to start either from my hip or my back.... ( I just re-read "flat on my side"... I don't think that's possible but it sounds decent, huh??)

Let me tell you how scared I was... and still am!! Luckily, no hollering at the moon pain started and so I slowly rolled on my stomach and got up... very slowly and gingerly. What was my immediate reaction?? Holy mother freeze dried tomatoes!!! Then, I called my other half at work and told her about it - better to get that out of the way early so as to avoid the conversation later!!

Anyhows, I did not feel any immediate pain/harm done so I laid on the couch and promptly fell asleep. Hard sleep. My body's way of going, well shit - we'll deal with it later. And, so now that I've woken up and moved around a bit - IT HURTS!!! So far there's no shooting pain but it's constant in my hip. I don't really feel anything in my back - which is good. Thank the higher power that my incision is still intact....

I was fixen to go back to work next week part time to go slowly back into the work scene to start back full time after the new year.... this better not mess with that.

Course, my other concern is why my right leg was not just asleep - I DIDN'T FEEL A FUCKING THING IN MY LEG FROM THE HIP DOWN UNTIL MY HIP HIT THE FLOOR! The bedroom is carpeted (new stuff that just got installed last week from Ike repairs!!) and we got the upgraded pad but not much difference between 5/6" and 7/8".... Sheeeeeesh!!!

Now I've gone all buggy and am trying not to wig out about it!! The bad part is today's Friday ... and while I'm cheering because it's Friday for the weekend aspect of it - I have to decide now if I'm going to call the doctor or not (or at least in the next 2 hours...) I really don't want to. Anyone who fell like I did would be sore and hurt a little bit. But, without sounding like a total arrogant Texan... I'm not anyone!!!!! I'm a freakin' MSer who just had back surgery!!!!

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.... I think I'll just get back to importing cd's into my itunes collection and wait. Isn't bad crap like this supposed to happen on Mondays??? and then, just like the commercial, I remember it's Monday night football on to make it better???

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Another 4 letter word...

I've just finished reading The Last Lecture about the computer science professor that was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer and gave his literal last lecture to his students and it was amazing. If you have no clue what I'm talking about, go to his website (thelastlecture.com).

The amount of courage and strength that man possessed. And to be able to put it into words... verbal and written. And the amount of people he touched - his family, his friends, his students, his co-workers. He actually was a Do-It kind of guy instead of a Say-It kind.

I'm going to try and learn something from him. I'm not a type A personality....more like a B+ kinda girl. I'm a good Indian and really have no desire to be the chief. Now, I'll campaign a bit to be the chief's advisor if she/he was worth it. And, that was the great thing about the book and the last lecture. It recognizes that not everybody is going to run the world or come up with a world-changing idea but that each person has their own value... to themselves, to their families, to their work-force.

So, getting back to the title of this post, what's another four letter word? Weak is my new four letter word that's becoming the thorn in my side. While my B+ personality might be lacking in the drive to be leader I've never lacked the strength to get what I need to do done. I'm up to carrying out the orders and keeping things going... I was usually captain of my athletic teams - not because I was the best athlete ... nope - because I was the one a coach always described as having the heart that made up for my lack of ability. Now, even heart can't cover it all with MS.

Heart's great when you want to get something done but doesn't help you out when your right leg does not want to cooperate with your brain's orders. Heart's great when you remember what you have to do but how you want to do it becomes too scrambled in your brain to make sure it gets done. Heart's amazing to keep you going despite not being able to do the things you enjoy because you physically cannot do them....

I'm still a little snarfy about all the things I feel like my MS has taken away. I haven't been mountain biking in over 2 years - I could do it with my cooling vest but my legs haven't been working right and now I won't do it again for a while to make sure my back heals... I now know why I had to quit running a couple of years ago because every time I did my feet would go numb and I'd lose a lot of feeling even in my arms (now know it was spasticity mixed with heat reaction). I feel weak because I haven't been able to focus on the things I can do despite the MS.

I realized this (a little late I think) reading the book. Weak is going to become a really bad four letter word for me. Any time I start thinking it I'm going to start putting a quarter in a jar or something. Weak has become a part of me like never before but it does not mean it has to become the dominant part of me. I'm going to try and start developing ways to overcome my weakness. It's not going to be easy and it's not going to happen over night but it can happen.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Dog's Dreamin...

My partner made an interesting observation about my sleeping habits... and came up with a new phrase for my spasticity. And, I've been meaning to talk about this subject but kept getting distracted with shiny things!!

Apparently, a few weeks ago, my legs were twitching so bad that I was shaking the whole bed. My other half ended up sleeping quite peacefully on the floor. I didn't realize this until the following day when she told me. I was very upset about it until I was laughing my ass off about it! I was told that I was puppy dreams. My partner asked me if I was chasing rabbits as well as Emma (our chocolate lab mix). She equated my spastic legs to when Emma is asleep and dreaming with her paws running after some unknown rabbit(s)...

I had been trying to get completely off my anti-spastic medicine (which for me is Zanaflex or Tizanidine) and had not taken it for a few nights when my bunny-chasing night happened. As long as I take my meds I don't chase bunnies....or at least not enough to wake others! We've had quite a few chuckles over that. We all know how our muscles just start going whether we want them to or not. I have had the wonderful privelege of having some facial ticks off and on and I can always tell when I'm having one I don't feel when I get that tilted head-trying to ignore it-look from someone looking at me at the time... The ones I usually don't feel but others might are in my side of my trunk/rib area and upper thigh area.... Anytime I have those now, I get asked what I'm chasing... AHHAAHHHAHAHHAHAHHAH

I love it. I'm the type that wants to laugh at something - I'm a big believer in talking for 30 minutes rather than fighting for 3. The easiest way to disarm someone is to either share something of yourself or laugh at something about yourself. Which, with MS, is quite easy to do. We walk funny, sometimes we talk funny, we have our own language about our bodies because of what's going on with them.... We speak of things like neurons, and myelin, and synapses, and auto-immune.... all those SAT words we wish we would have paid attention to more back then (course, me being the nerd I was in high school I do have SAT words I pull out of my buttocks every now and then just for fun = I was proud of my verbal!)

We each develop our own voacabulary to deal with the specific crap that is unique to our MS. We all know that while we might share hyper-active immune systems that attack our central nervous systems on their myelin and the myelin sheaths... But, being that is a vast world in our brains and spinal cords it makes the disease different for all of us because a sclerosis on a specific spot on our brain or spinal cord makes for a specific reaction. I have 2 lesions on my cervical spine that causes numbness and tingling in both my arms and hands. I wake up almost every morning with numb hands and it goes up into the lower arms sometimes. My last MRI showed no changes in those lesions - which is good. None of us wants the "black hole" conversation about our lesions. Isn't that the reason we overcome our fear of needles for our DMDs??

Anyways... in my house the term "spasticity" or any related words has now been changed to rabbit chasing or doggie dreaming. Think I can get my neuro on board with those terms? I'd love to see it in the New England Journal of Medicine... 'statistics show that group B undergoing treatment 1 experienced statistically less rabbit chasing than group A undergoing a placebo treatment'

Friday, December 12, 2008

Watching South Park is ALWAYS a good thing!...


(First off - let me apologize for why this is all underlined - I don't know what I did and I can't seem to fix it.... )

If you've never seen an episode of South Park... (let me break and say YIPPEE for whatever I did to stop the underlining... I'm not going back to erase the first sentence cuz I'm afraid it will bring the lining back!!!) then you need to. There are some more funny than others - I have been known to cry... You can watch episodes on their website. Let me make a few recommendations for the beginner...

Episode 809 - Season 8: Something Wal-Mart this way. If you believe that Wally-world is the downfall of America and the root of all evil than you will appreciate this episode. Even if you shop at wally-world regularly like I do (it's 2 blocks from my neighborhood!) you will still LYAO!

Episode 706 - Season 7 (u catching on to the first number corresponding to the season? - I'm in a very snarfy mood right now...you'll have to excuse the sarcasm). Lil' Crime Stoppers... Okay, you might have to have had some dealings with law enforcement to really appreciate all the jokes but watching enough SVU (i typed SUV at first... HAHAHAH) would work too!!

Episode 807 - Mr. Jefferson. LMAO LMAO LMAO FOTFLMAO!!!! Don't drink anything while watching this - it will come back on your screen!!

Episode 1007 - Tsst. Like the Dog Whisperer? I do and I loved this episode!!

Episode 1104 - The Snuke. Okay, I don't care if you wanted Hilary to be president, this is some funny shinola!

And, one of the most hilarious, all-time wrong on so many levels (although, if you watched any of the Mormon or Hey God episodes you are so going to be on the bus to hell with me and tons of my other friends!!!) is Episode 1108 - Le Petitte Tourette. Someone thinks it's cool to have Tourette's and then there's the Dateline Episode involved.... Okay, this episode is seriously twisted and about as wrong as Mr. Jefferson - and these are just my personal favorites....

What I like so much about the show is the fact that it's beyond honesty - it reveals the underbelly of so many of our thoughts and stuff - the one black person in town is named Token. They have a pre-op to post-op 4th grade teacher that goes back and forth between being gay and straight in all the various stages of surgery!! It has a chef that sings about his "salty balls" and it's NOT what you think!!

The show's genius in that nothing is sacred. It even laughs and makes fun of itself. The one after Obama was elected made it look like the whole election was rigged for Obama to win by McCain - but for entirely different reasons than you might think - hilarious!! Anyways, why did I get off on this tangent tonight. Can't say. Maybe my snarfy mood - maybe the fact that I was watching the movie and singing along with Shut Your Fucking Face Uncle Fucker (and not missing a word!!)!
Maybe the fact that I'm avoiding talking about my MS because it might re-awaken it... I think it's sleeping right now. It's behaving and that scares me worse than a fever!!

Regardless, I feel it's my duty to educate those not in the know about the SP universe. Ahh, young masters - you must open your mind to the force young jedi's!!!



Thursday, December 11, 2008

Words rarely uttered here in SE TX...

It snowed last night!

It was so cool! It started sleeting yesterday afternoon and there were pictures of it snowing in the far north parts of H-town but surely it wouldn't r
each down here... Yuppers! It did!!

It snowed big time for here! There were large, quarter size flakes floating all around and coming down like rain. Here are some pics...


My baby jeep was cold but made for a good picture! There was actually snow on the ground and it wasn't melting away as soon as it hit.

This is the puppies green monster - all covered in snow!! of all things!!! The pups were in high gear because of the cold. They were out running around last night and this morning chasing the squirrels and running around.

It's gorgeous today - lots of sun but still cold. Course, this being Texas, the high for Sunday is supposed to be back up at 72! Looks like I might get my c
old days for Christmas! I was like a kid in a candy store last night playing in the snow! I kept looking out the windows and started jumping up and down when I saw the flakes coming down! I ran outside without my coat and in my socks... My honey made sure and followed me up with my coat and shoes!

I was out and about for a while. I came in and my hands and feet were frozen but in such a good way! I haven't played in the snow since I went to Lake Tahoe several years ago. Funny talkinga bout snow in this blog when just a few months ago I was
writing about the damage from Hurricane Ike. And, the day that it snowed the forecast came on predicting 14 hurricanes for next year. I don't pay attention to the forecasts for the hurricanes since they're never right... but I still liked the irony of it all.




Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Just another Tuesday...

But this Tuesday is special - it's the honey's birthday!! WOO HOO!! I wish we were going out to a big steak dinner to celebrate but I still can't sit upright for very long and a car ride is my least favorite thing to do right now. I'm actually getting better at sitting up, and probably could do dinner somewhere but all the decent places to go are at my max limit for a car ride... Sheesh - I hate that I can't do big plans to celebrate.

Course, what's worse is that the carpet guys that were supposed to be here at 10 are now not coming until 2, and it'll take 2-3 hours to get it finished so that means they will not be gone by the time she gets home from work. Last night the kitchen and bathroom floors got installed... the guys were here until 1030 pm!! OMG!! But, one of the guys did put our new toilet in for us for a lot less than it was going to be with HD's installers.... so, I guess that was a wash.

All that's left to fix now is the sheetrock in the small hallway and the gutters. I will be glad when all this is over. It has stressed the other half out majorly and not to mention has stressed me out as well. It will be nice to have everything done and quiet around here where we can enjoy it. We got each other the PS3 for Christmas this year for the games and the Blu-ray. It's a good investment since we're such home-bodies that enjoy staying in and watching a movie with no lines to the bathroom, personal volume control, and much cheaper candy and popcorn!! Now, with Netflix as well, it's cinema paradise!! I can't wait to get Madden 09 for the PS3 - I'm not a big gamer but I do enjoy it. I can't wait to get back to the Wii.

I loved the Wii fit with the games and yoga. I can't wait to get back to working out period. I have enjoyed being laid up this time w/o a lot of steroids - I noticed I'm not putting on the pounds like I usually do with a MS flare. I know the food tastes so good on solumedrol but I could do without all the extras!! LOL Speaking of food, I did the bacon pancakes on this past Sunday. They were very yummy! They cooled off a little quick but the taste was yummy! The pancake batter just sucks up the bacon grease and the flavor combo is yummers!! Have I said that already??

I can't believe it's already so far into December.... It's going to be Christmas before I know it. We haven't gotten anything Christmas out in the house... it's still all in the attic since all the working in the house and me unable to pick up the milk jug. It's going to be a little odd without a tree this year but I think we'll make do... We talked about getting one of those rosemary trees and putting a few ornaments on it just to have something in the house. Will probably end up doing that.

I didn't really have anything in mind when I started babbling. I'm just listening to my latest itunes purchases and catching up on some email correspondence. Haven't even turned on the boob tube yet - but I'm sure I will. No sense not frying my brain more than it already is!!! AHHAHAHAH

Friday, December 5, 2008

Here piggy piggy piggy...

Holy Moly Mackeral!!!!

I'm reading a decent book I decided to get upon reading about it at B&N.com. In the book, which was originally written by by a Sweedish author and translated to English (which, by the way, will be a topic for a future post about a different world view that was a little hard but very enjoyable to adjust to)... ANYHOWS..

I had to write a 2nd post for today because in this book one of the main characters is treated to a dinner with bacon pancakes and ligonberries. Now, I've had pancakcs and ligonberries - very yummers! But, wtf is a bacon pancake??

Of course, I go to the trustee Google toolbar and type it in... Follow along with me on my Goog-ourney:

The 1st listing is this site to what an actual bacon pancake is... Very tasty sounding! And yes, your cholesterol will go up just reading it!!

Now, look up in the top right corner of that blog page and there's a link to some other hilarious bacon themed bandages and air freshener (yes... that's a hard word to mis-type so you read it right the first time!)

Now, the 2nd stop is a heaven for bacon lovers - of which I proudly raise my hand!! It's a blog about nothing but oinking on bacon!! It's a bacon a day recipe. OMG! Just browse that a while... again, do not do this before a trip for the annual physical or to your cardiologist because the LDL is going up!

This was a very shiny thing for me tonight which caused me to put down my book and come share with you!!! Oh, I am soooooo looking forward to pancakes and bacon this weekend - i was planning on French toast with my bacon on Sunday morning but things might change!!! By the way.... the first site has pictures!!!! Be careful, I had to clean some drool off my keyboard!!

This is me...

Not really... but it's a 4-legged representation of what I feel like! I still can't even sit partially up in my side of the recliner couch. So, my beloved Venus - the not even 2 year old adopted mutt - has deemed the brown couch hers while I stay on our red one. I've gotten some really good shots of her relaxing with me while I'm home. And, believe it or not, the one on the left was taken 2 days ago but the one on the right was taken today! Looks like she went from one spot right to the next one...

Course, her big sister is too cool to pose for pictures anymore! HA! Not really, but she would normally be curled up on the other side of the couch except she takes advantage of being on one of the beds and spreading out. The little one is curled up on the heating pad and blanket. Today was "cold" for us down here in the gulf coast - our high was only 55 today so we'r
e all in our heavy winter coats down here! It might even hit freezing on the north side of H-town tonight! Brrrrrrr! Course, I know all y'all above the Mason-Dixon line are laughing y'alls arses off at me saying it's cold but anything below 70 and we go a little bonkers!! At least I do - my blood is too thin for any color other than green or brown on the ground.

I have been in snow here in Texas - even in the south part of Texas. I need to scan in pictures of the beach house deck covered in snow from 2 years ago! It's great! My partner said about 2 minutes after they went back inside a seagull landed on the railing and did the "hot potato" dance for a few seconds and then flew off cuz of the snow! That would've been hilarious! I do like it cold on Christmas Eve and Christmas though - it doesn't feel right when it's 80F. And, yes - I have been swimming on both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Both in Texas and visiting my grandparents in Little Rock, Arkansas. There was one Christmas where I opened my gifts in my bathing suit, along with my cousin and family. Those pics are still on slides, which my brother and I keep meaning to get to have them transferred to DVDs. I wore shorts this Thanksgiving day and for most of the weekend. I think it hit 85 that Saturday afterwards...

I remember being told, jokingly by my neuro, that my diagnosis meant I had to move north! He was joking but we all know how the heat is an MSer's main kryptonite! I have a cooling vest I now use religiously for outdoor events during the wanna-be winter and sissy-spring we get down here (technically summer is our only season with a slight dip into fall). I just can't imagine living somewhere without the heat, though - I think my skin would eavaporate off of me!! I guess I could always find a "dry" heat somewhere! AHHAHAHAHA What's funny is when I've traveled to the east coast during the summer I learned to request/ask for air-conditioning! Now, it's not so hard to find but it was for a while! I think New York and Chicago had more days over 95F last summer than we did. On a down note for the Bayou city, though, our "feels like" temps were higher...

TGIF! Doesn't really affect me - same type day for me as the last 21 days. I'm even losing days of the week. I didn't realize today was Friday until my partner told me she was excited for the weekend... how sad is that???

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Loopiness is everything...

Car ride to the doc for my 2 week follow-up! Not a fun car ride but I got some chick-fil-a nuggets and waffle fries out of it!! WOO HOO!! And a warning from the doc to take it easy and the rest of the month off... I agreed to 2 more weeks of catching up with my relationship with my DVD player at a minimum. I lucked into another wonderful doc - he was running really late this morning and I didn't get back to the room for another hour after my appointment time.

Being that I'm good at lying down and standing up, with a short burst of walking but NOT sitting - the hour wait was painful. So, I was in pain curled up into a ball on the exam table when he came into the room. He told me he was sorry so many times I lost count. He said my incision was healing great and I needed to start walking around more often for shorter bursts... and he gave me that half-arm hug... I pegged him at first in his early 40s but now I think he's older - he had a grandfather-ly way about him this morning... Either way, I was glad I put my spine in his hands.

Cue the pain meds = which I have been taking sporadically as needed since the beginning of this week. Leading to major loopiness now while I type this post! I have absolutely no idea where I was going when I started this post. I think I actually changed topics in my head a couple of times as well, and I don't remember any of them... I might have been extremely profound for this post! I might have been highly amusing!! Oh, hell... I'd still just be me!! LOL

Okay, who the hell knows where I'll go now and I don't think anyone wants me to visit wikipedia on anymore fetish hunts!! AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHH

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

It's Potty Time...

We all know some of the less glorious aspects of this crappy disease... the bladder and bowel symptoms we get. Some of us go way to often, some of us can't get enough out when we do go, others go way too much, others don't know how in the hell that much liquid can come from one person....

Me, about 2 years before diagnosis, I spent more than 2 weeks in the hospital with what they eventually (after a colonoscopy and another hospital stay) deemed IBS - irritable bowel syndrome. They thought I maybe had colitis or Crohn's but the colonoscopy ruled those out. I lost almost 15 pounds in about 3 weeks and couldn't keep anything in me. All the doctor's and hospital visits came in handy these past couple of years for dealing with MS... I could barely go to work and I was very thankful, when I did, that the bathroom was only a few steps away. The docs put me on steroids (again, good dress rehearsals...) and I did a severe diet change for about 2 months and I seemed to "heal".

Course, this wonderfully mysterious auto-immune disorder that we share called Multiple Sclerosis could have been the culprit all along. There are TONS of nerves in our bowels... the process that gets the crap, literally, out of us is called peristalis. It's one of those autonomic nervous system processes that works without us having to think about it. Course, there are days when we have to work on it.... Correctol has become a very close friend of mine! Don't you love how MS breaks down the barriers in discussing CRAP????

My neuro seemed to agree with me during one of our longer, initial diagnosis discussions. I never really got mad at all the GI and OB-GYN docs that I saw as a result of that CRAP I went through during that time. (They thought endometriosis was the culprit as well - and still is part of the problem) Besides, I could have been diagnosed with Crohn's and MS - we all know that the auto-immune disorders are very co-dependant on each other and like to share habitations a lot. How many of us probably also have RA with our MS put the general joint pain we all dismiss as a result of the steroids or other meds? I've had my feet and hips xray'd a bunch over the last couple of years because of my "pain", and the docs wanting to rule out RA.

Wow - didn't know I was going to delve into my past so much for this post... And, it started just to be a really funny one about a website I found reading someone else's blog about Crohn's (I'm a caregiver to a Crohn's patient - my partner). It's a website where you can find a toilet no matter where you are in the world - and you can add toilet sites!!! Here's the link - it's called SitOrSquat.com .

Hilarious!! I'm going to go back to watching the boob-tube and listen to the roofers working above. They got here at 645 this morning - wonder if the sunrise was good from on top??

Monday, December 1, 2008

OMG...

We all know how much all that racket going on in our head can drive a person batty! All those crazy, mamby-pamby thoughts that go swirling around in there from time to time... Should I have super-sized? Should I have chosen that school instead of the other school? Did I really want to be home while they're fixing our roof....

Holy Moldy Cannolli!!!!!! I now know why we call it a "pounding" headache when it's one of those kick-ass ones! They're here stripping the old roof off the house today. Got here bright and EARLY at 730 this morning! I'm so thankful that the insurance is giving us a new roof. So very thankful. But, seriously, having an out-of-body-migraine is not something I ever wanted to try out-of-body! The dogs have all curled under their blankets to get away from it... I don't have enough blankets. Well, I take that back - I have enough but I'd also like to be able to breathe!

I moved from the bed to the couch thinking it would quiet down a bit in the living room - the dang vaulted ceilings should count for something, right? Nope. Just as loud out here. Oh well, the couch is my best friend anyway right now. I actually am bending over just a little bit (and, if so many of my friends saw that line they'd have fodder for years!!!) and putting on my socks on my own. I'm walking around the house very well and using my picky-uppy thing quite a bit. I can't tell if I'm doing too much or not enough. My spurts of pain tell me I'm doing too much but then my ever-growing ass is telling me I'm not doing enough. SIGH.

I wonder how long my immobility is going to last. Neighbors spent yesterday putting out holiday decorations on their houses and yards. I so would like to get all the Christams stuff down from the attic and start adding a little cheer to the household... Course, the carpet/tile people come next week to replace the flooring so we're actually going to be "packing" up all the crap in the 3 bedrooms, bathrooms, and kitchen so that the carpet/tile people just have to move the furniture. So, adding stuff to the mix right now is not a good idea. Another SIGH

I feel like I'm going through an MS attack right now.... I know what's wrong but I really can't do anything about it but "heal". My body has to do all the work right now. My brain has to adjust to my imposed restrictions right now. I don't like it. There's nothing more I can do about it either. I go back to the doc's later this week. I wonder what he's going to be expecting... just like when you head back to the neuro's office after the week on our IV cocktails. You never know if you'll get the nodding head, eyes turned sideways look that means neuro doesn't like how your body has responded to the meds... or will you get the clapping hands and smile that means the meds won the battle this time and we'll just wait for CD's next attack. Double SIGH

Oh well, enough for now. I'm going to go back and catch up on my daytime TV that is horrible! Course, that's what I have my DVD player for... can't load the dang thing myself but honey loaded my choices last night for me... Yeah!!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Happy Gobble Gobble!...

Happy Thanksgiving!!

I am so very thankful for a wonderful partner, a loving family, generous friends, and my place in life.

I hope everyone has a wonderful start to the
holidays this weekend! Enjoy lots of laughter and love! To help with the laughter, enjoy this tasty morsel:




It's called Lemon Turkey Zest!! HAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHA

Monday, November 24, 2008

That was so much fun...

I don't ever want to do it again!!! They had me walking that night of course, and passed all my "tests" to go home the next day. Been busy laying around the house since. Today was the first day I sat up alot and did not just lay around on my back... Gotten off the pain meds as well today. Strictly back to advil and tylenol. They gave me the really good stuff in the hospital of course, but I do not like the way pain meds knock you out of it (and stop you up - that's the WORST part!)

Anyways, just a short note right now. I am posting the picture my lovely bride-to-be took of me while waiting in pre-surgery. I had been walking around for the 2 weeks prior to the surgery with a cane but was told not to bring it to the hospital because they did not want me using it afterwards. So, I got to hobble up to the surgery center
until they got me into the bed and I got approved for pain-meds! And, the few times I had to visit the ladies room I had to have someone with me at all times.... this is what I was designated! My honey still has it in her "keep-sakes" and thought it was hilarious.

I, too, think it's an absolutely fantabulous commentary on my travels through this life in my given skin...



Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Let the drumroll begin...

It's the night before surgery,
And all through the house
The dogs were all excited
Cuz they knew something was up.

Arrangements have been made
Even dad's coming down
Who knows how that'll go
Always daddy's little girl.

Go in at 10
Surgeon's fitting me in at 1.
Semi-private bliss waiting for me
At least I'll get to eat real food this trip.

One night in St. Luke's
Of course the patron saint of docs
I'll be back to boot-scootin in no time
They'll have me walkin that night!

A little bit of fear
A lot to look forward to
I'll have to remind myself
I'm in recovery afterwards.

LOL!! I'll be back to the couch in a few days after recovering from back surgery. Enjoy my horrible poetry until then.... had no clue what I was going to write at first and then it just "spewed" out!!! AHAHHAHAHHAHHAHA


Sunday, November 16, 2008

A night of sleep...

Is such a wonderful thing! I was actually asleep in bed last night before 3 am!! WOO HOO! I was excited. Course, I woke up at 530 this morning but almost 6 hours of sleep is sooo good!! Ahhh, enough bragging for now! : ]

Scars are tattoos with better stories. ~From a Toyota advertisement in Sports Illustrated magazine, 3 June 2002

Isn't that a great quote? I read that and was excited. Course, some tattoos have really good stories as well. Course, I'm sure that ad is only talking about physical scars. Really good emotional scars sometimes have the best stories, huh? Not always good, but not always bad either.

I've figured out that MS itself leaves all sorts of scars... We all can very accurately describe that day in the doc's office where we were told we have MS. Then all our wonderful MS paths differ... because of the great disease that is this CD we all get various, differing, paths - some more rocky, sloped, and bumpy than others!

I got my first tattoo when I was 18 years old, during the spring of my senior year of high school. A friend of mine had a date that decided that no meant yes, then the prick turned up HIV+. So, my friend now has to go get tested - at least the bastard told her about his situation. Course, Kharma caught up to the prick and I last heard he ended up wasting away w/o family or friends. My friend luckily turned up HIV- so we decided to celebrate by going to get tattoos. Yes, we could appreciate the irony of the "celebration"...

I love dolphins... always have and always will. Of course I did the girly thing and got a dolphin on my ankle. My friend ended up getting an ankh, which is the Egyptian symbol for life (in short terms) on her bikini line. She didn't ever want anyone to know about hers.... Me, well, I went through a "who gives a crap phase" and wanted everyone to know. Made sure and wore super light hose the night of senior banquet so that everyone saw.... It was hilarious - no one was saying anything until one of my friend's mothers commented that she was impressed by the detail of the fins and coloring... Not another word was mentioned until that summer when my father blew a gasket upon seeing it. He banned me from getting anymore - and that did not last.

I named her Darwin - after the wonderful Charles Darwin. Course, that's the only tat that has a name. All the others can just be!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Caught BWNS...

"Blogging While Not Sleeping"

You'd think that the sleep meds and heavy duty pain meds would negate the steroids they have me taking.... Nope. Course, I can't sleep anyways because there is absolutely no position I can get in that makes the back feel better. And, I'll get yelled at if I go s
leep on the couch by the honey...even though me no-sleep means her no-sleep... Even though I wouldn't be sleeping anyways, I would just have better TV options as the living room as that's where the cable box is hooked up....



Isn't that a freakin' hilarious picture??? Don't we all feel that way about something we have to do sometimes, even when it's something we HAVE to do? I'm sure we've felt this way about work, family functions, medical procedures... My right leg has swollen so much over the last 24 hours... Apparently not abnormal since I'm not using it. I'm that dog facing my surgery! I know it's something necessary to do and it's necessary for my health - again the fear is tempered greatly by a return to "normal".... I really didn't mean for there to be any MEANING to the photo.. I really just wanted to share it!!!

Did I ever share the pic of my "green monster br
ew" I made for Halloween? Here it is...


Not nearly as funny as the above photo but still pretty knarly, huh? Notice the gummy worms I added? The kiddos really liked those. Next time I'm going to have to add food coloring to the hand-icecubes to make them stand out more...

There's really nothing on regular tv right now... I'm sure I could find a good movie out in the living room. I'd annoy the puppy sleeping in there though, as my puppy in here with me keeps giving me those heavy sigh/growl thingys.

I thought I had a lot to get off my chest here tonight... turns out not so much. We're scheduling the carpet/flooring people tomorrow to come the first week of December. The roofing people should be getting their shingles on the week of Turkey day. The gutter man comes the day after the roof is finished. The fence man should be here next week. Course, he's the husband of one of my co-workers so that's the one I'm least worried about. He's such a good guy! It's sorta worked out better having to wait on the dang insurance people cuz everyone that really needed to get stuff done (I mean - our house was livable so we were in better condition than a lot of others) has wrapped up and now we're having to wait less. We were told it would be 3-4 weeks to get a roof when he first got our estimate. Now, we signed the papers this week and get the roof in less than 10 days.

Watched the movie Kung-Fu Panda tonight.... absolutely worth the time! Very funny and poignant. It's amazing how many adults actually enjoy the Disney/Pixar/Animated pics. Signed up for Netflix since I'm looking at another extended stay away from the job. I had fun creating the list and ranking the order. They've got the classic TV shows you can get! We're looking forward to some good Carol Burnett laughs this weekend.

I'm wondering about my surgery scar(s). Supposedly it's going to be a very small, between 1-3", cut in my back and my buddy said she had a hard time even noticing the scar. I'm a little worried about my tattoo that's back there... Have I come out about my tattoos? I have the one on my lower back but it's not some sissyfied one... It's a rather large tribal art piece with orange, purple, red, and black in it. Probably around 7-8" long and 4" tall. I think they might have to cut into that and I'm wondering how it'll affect it. I can always go and get it touched up - I've already had to re-do one of my ankle tats. Course, it could just be an excuse to get another one!! I'm a little skittish though since I had a week long hospital stay about 2 days after I got my last one. I did mention it to the ER and hospital docs immediately and then they ruled out it being any type of ink infection but it still makes you wonder.

There's at least 2 more I know I want but I'm running out of room... In business clothes and my uniform you would not know that I have any tattoos and I want to keep it that way. Now, I'm very proud to be tattoo'd but it's something very personal and not for others. Each one of my tats is very personal and I still love each and every one of them!

Okay, I think I'm good to go for now. Besides, this is 2 today, huh? Everytime I post and fiddle with my blog I realize there's something more about me I can put into it. That's the point, right? Anyways, I'm a big quote-whore. I love'em! I used to have several volumes of books just of quotes... I've realized I don't really have a quotefinder linked somewhere in my blog. I'm going to part with a quote I found and then go find a quote site I want to link...

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." . . . You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
-Eleanor Roosevelt

And the verdict is...

I'm restricted to bed/couch rest until surgery, probably this coming Wednesday.... I'm walking steady with the assistance of a cane. The good news is that this has absolutely nothing to do with MS. Amazing, huh? I've always been a fan of a good piece of irony, and this is ranking right up there! My doc kept telling me he was sorry for my pain....telling me he wished he could fit me in sooner but his schedule was already packed. Still, I'm writing this while waiting for his surgical nurse to call to fill me in on instructions and the exact day/time.

I'm actually taking this as a blessing in disguise... this explains a lot of my leg/hip pain going on for a while. I'm looking forward to getting back to a more active lifestyle... A friend called me last night and actually went through the exact same procedure and gave me lots of good info!! And she told me I could harass her as much as I wanted... I plan on taking her up on that throughout the weekend.

They went ahead and drew the blood at the doc's office yesterday so I wouldn't have to go back to the hospital again before the procedure. I'm not supposed to be in a car for more than 20-30 minutes, if at all, and that has to continue until 3-4 weeks after the surgery! That's the biggest, messed up thing about this all is that I now can't travel up to North Texas for Thanksgiving because it's just over a 4 hour drive up to my big brother's. I am soooooo freakin' upset that I can't be there surrounded by both my big brothers and the 6 very rambunctious, hyper, totally awesome niece and nephews!!! It was going to be total chaos and I was going to love every minute of it!!!

Course, it was also going to be the first opportunity I had to cuddle and smooch all over my new nephew!! Now, I won't be able to hold him for at least 6-8 months - UGHHHHH!!!! My brother did tell me they would be down to the Texas South right before Christmas and would let me have all the nephew time I needed!!

And, yes, I do have the latest installment of my puppies to bore you with... It's a great illustration of the happy dance I will be doing post-surgery, after a recovery period... but I promise I won't post the video of me doing it... (unless it's really goooooood!)

Here's to the happy things in life!!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Worth a side note...

Thank you Joan for directing my attention to the "Beer Theory" as it relates to MS! I laughed so hard I had to send an immediate email out to fam and friends about it!! Please, ENJOY!

Beer Theory

A HA HA HA HA!!!...

I think I've outsmarted the blog.... Let's try and see if I can LINK the video of the puppies playing with the green monster! If this works I'm going to totally bore your asses off with other videos of the wonderful pups playing! Worst day ever? Watch puppies or babies - cure you right up!!!

IT WORKS! IT WORKS! IT WORKS! I'm now a poster on YouTube to do it, but dammit it's SOOOOOO worth it! Apparently it takes a bit for videos to get approval to be posted (mine took just over a day) so you'll be lucky to not be bored silly with videos on this post.... but as soon as I'm through with this post I'm headed back over for some more voyeuristic pleasure!!!

I had to switch colors because I'm about to go soooo off base of where I had originally started from... I've had to even catch up with myself! So, you see that word voyeuristic up there? I knew that was not the right word for UPLOADING images to have them being viewed so I went to trusty Google over there in my toolbar and typed in "fetish definitions"... and of course Wikipedia came up and gave a list of fetishes in alphabetical order... Notice I've linked the page in that because it was one of the funniest, most hysterical thing! Now, I investigate some of those things in that list and it's not the first time I've seen that list as I do hold BS in Psy... oops, I guess I meant to say I have a BS in Psy! HAHAHHAA

Seriously folks, I'm cracking my ass up over here!!!! I did not find anything, nada, nothing, ZIP relating to discovering that "it's sorta fun to post innocent stuff over there on youtube!" Course, if you're into any of that stuff listed on the linked page to Wikipedia above you should check out a similar website as youtube, but replace the first 3 letters with "red". Be prepared... Very adult material... again discovered through my investigations!

Back to the safeness of green! Meet with the doc tomorrow about my back. Had to come home early today from work because the pain meds I have don't come close to even slowing the pain down... Can't sleep now either because now both sides don't work and can't sleep on my back. Haven't lost my apetite of course, so the fact that I'm totally unable to work out yet still upload all the calories I want into my body... I will be joining a gym again after whatever we decide to do with my back to get access to a pool - I love the water! I so can't wait to go fishing again, and normally this would be a slow time for it but I got told last week that 2 15" reds were caught in the canal!!! Apparently there are some big ones out there that miss human companionship since IKE! I plan to remedy that very shortly!! : ]

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Thank YOU!...

To the many men and women, past and present, who have given their heart, sweat, tears, and lives to preserve our country! Both my grandfathers served in WWII: one in Army and one in Navy. My uncle served 2 tours with Army in Vietnam. One of my brothers was a Navy pilot during the Gulf Wars. My best friend's brother and his wife are currently in Germany with the Army - he has survived 2 tours in Iraq, 1 in Afganistan, and had a very harrowing experience in North Korea and his wife has done 1 tour in Iraq and will be going back there shortly. I have 2 co-workers, one still active and his wife retired, that lost their only son early last year during his 3rd tour in Iraq. I have had 2 co-workers/friends that have served between 1 and 3 tours in Iraq and Afganistan with the National Guard. I am very thankful for their service. I don't care if you support the US' actions overseas but always, ALWAYS, be thankful for those willing to sacrifice their lives to make sure you have the right to disagree publicly with those actions. [My favorite Super Bowl commercial of all time was the '06 Budweiser one showing the troops walking through an airport... here's the link.

Now, onto other matters. I've realized I've been flipping back and forth between trying to stay postive and giving into the negative. I've read a bunch of awesome posts lately from other MS bloggers that say it so much better than I could ever hope to say it... So, I'm going to mooch from them for this post. I want to include links to some of the posts that have hit a personal nerve (without any myelin deficient interference!)... I hope you enjoy them.

Amazing.... from Braincheese a letter about this CD

From Lazy Julie: She's got a bunch of good views of CD but read "The Spoon Story" story on the right side of the post, around 1/2 down... The good thing about that is isn't it always only the spoons left over from work when you forget your fork at home?

She might think the empire has gotten smaller but I think the strength of the force is still great!

My other half is now home and we're going to look at the revised insurance settlement paperwork we officially received today that covers EVERYTHING! Now the official snoopy dance can commence!

Monday, November 10, 2008

WTF?...

Has anybody ever gotten through and gotten help about a problem with blogspot? I can't find anyway to actually contact a human via email and STILL cannot post my freakin' awsome video of my puppies playing with the green monster!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

I've decided my alternate name for MS.... CD - CRAPPY DISEASE! I will not use it sparingly either... cuz even when we're having great days with our multiple sclerosis we really can't relax cuz we know that day is quite possibly tomorrow! CD works no matter what!!! I'm a huge music lover so don't take it as hating on music - I own waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too many CD's even in the age of itunes (which will be the downfall of my pension!) I'm surprised I haven't bored y'all yet with numerous references to lines of lyrics that relate to my life in some past/present/future way.... And I listen to a little bit of everything but country is my main thing .... and I've been done wrong and own beachfront in Arizona!! : ] So, consider this as a warning for a future post...

CD CD CD CD CD CD!!! It just rolls off the tongue! I also just realized that it's not good to watch a very funny comedian (Ralphie May) and post at the same time.... but I'm going to move forward! Remember 2 posts ago when I was going on about the wonderful Texas blue skies.... it's in hiatus for the next couple of days. We're about to hit our "wet" season....which is just Texan for winter. Seriously, we needed the rain though... ever since Ike, we've only gotten a few inches of rain. Course, if you count the 20+ we got during the hurricane.... I love the rain and thunderstorms and the sound of heavy rain hitting my Jeep soft-top. My chocolate lab does not like the rain or the thunderstorms....she used to take it out on the blinds but we've since learned to pull them up so she can at least see outside. She has been known to take it out on any unprotected tennis shoes left in the living room or kitchen or any unsuspecting blankets... I've got her on her little doggie herbal anti-anxiety stuff I mix with her food and that has seemed to help. Didn't even come home to an accident today!!

Did not know this would be such a rambling post... I'm beginning to lose function of my right leg again... I got taught how to use a cane today in PT.... Go back to the doctor later this week - should be interesting... I'm sure it'll be another multiple, in-capitals CD post!

Later! : p

Sunday, November 9, 2008

S)$*(Q*&#$(@&....

Apparently I'm not the only one that's having issues loading videos in their posts... I went to the help blogs and I wasn't the first, nor will I be the last, to state their issues... And nobody had answered anybody yet... so I'll have to check back later...

WOO HOOO Texas Tech!!!! They stomped OSU!! Guns Up baby!! The Red Raiders are going to stop the Tide from rolling when they get the chance!! Then, the only issue will be if I'll be hosting the national championship party or one of my many Tech alum friends... we'll have to see!

Course, the Texans are sucking it up so bad right now I've changed the channel! I swear our quarterback doesn't know the difference between our wide receivers and the defense! And they're wearing PURPLE this week!!!!! AGHHHHHHHHHH!! Seriously, good thing my mood doesn't depend on the outcome of my teams... luckily I've grown past that (to an extent - I'm glad my Cowboys have a bye week cuz I don't think I could handle anymore of a drop in my depression!!!!)

I've been thinking about something lately. As MSers, we're all very thankful for our care-givers, especially in the many shapes they come in. I've got a work team that picks up my print-outs from the printer and does any general "errands" they can when I'm having a not-so-good balance day and they don't want to see the human pinball version of me walking between the cubicles... (it's actually sorta funny until I get home and see all the bruises on my arms and hips). I've got my family that watches me like a hawk anytime I'm around and doesn't let me do stuff still... I thought I'd finally overcome it, being the baby in the family and all... nope. Then, we have our loving partners, live-in roommates, or live-in family that take care of us. They actually get mad at US if we don't let them do stuff for us...

I don't have any two-legged kids (yet - to be determined in the future...) but there's ALOT of MSers out there that do have them. Parents are the ultimate care-givers... especially since that job never ends... My father is now caring for his parents who are no longer able to survive on their own (and my Nana - love her to death!!!!! - has gone completely off the deep end). Yet, he's still my dad and trying to be a care-giver to me.. He was going to come down and live with me for that month I was blind in that one eye and live in a hotel to do it... I luckily, for our relationship, talked him out of that but he wanted to do it. How do you handle being a care-taker and being a care-giver?

My partner also is a member of the autoimmune disorder team....with Crohn's Disease. We actually share some similar symptoms - joint pain, fatigue, general ugh-iness. Her current medicine that has her in remission is a pill that's currently being looked at for a possible oral medication for MS. We joke about competing hospital visits...although I've got a 3-1 edge on her right now.... not really something you really want to win, ya know? Anyways, I don't like it when I can't be all the care-giver I can be because MY autoimmune disorder prevents me from doing it... Her innards are giving her fits and she just needs to hang out on the couch... Groovy! I want to be able to be the one to get all the drinks, snacks, anything she needs me to bring her... but if then my hips decide they don't want to work that day - or I can't really move all that well because my back... I don't like it. I don't like not being able to give, to do for my care-taker.

How am I supposed to be able to be a partner if I can't give my share? How do I not become nothing but a taker when I want to give? I want to be able to do not only my share of household chores and general partnership duties but I also want to be able to take care of her when she needs it. I want to be able to do my part of providing. Of all the crap that this crappy disease takes away, I think it's the imbalance it creates that really hurts. I am one of those people that seeks out and needs affection and wants that other half around for everything. I'm not a loner - I'm a partner. I want to grocery shopping, errand-running, and vacationing with my better half. That's the way I'm built. But I do not want to drain my other half. I don't want to leave my other half needing more from me than I can provide. If I use all of it up, where does that leave me, her, our relationship? I bitch enough about the physical aspects of this illness because it's easier to take your frustrations out on the "visible" aspects... and makes it easier to ignore the "hidden" ones.... I just think the whole thing bites! I'm determined to outsmart this aspect of the disease... I'm working on the details of how to do it, but the main thing is I'm working on it!!!

Saturday, November 8, 2008

This is why you live in Texas...

Cuz the skies are this blue, no clouds, enough breeze to keep you cool... and plenty of football! Went and saw my middle nephew play football this morning. Had already seen the other 2 play a couple of weekends ago. Major bragging to ensue now... My nephew scored 4 of the 5 touchdowns scored by his team!!! WOOOO HOOOO!! He ran 2 in, caught a pass and ran in, and then recovered a fumble and ran it back for a touchdown!! MAJOR STUDLY!!! And, he's the smaller/faster one of my 2 SE TX nephews (not to be confused by my 3 N TX nephews!) and the "cool" one. I actually got a full hug today, which made me very priveledged! My oldest one is already taller than me and he threw for 2 touchdowns this morning and also ran one in... Playoffs start next week so it's going to be good, cold, football Saturdays coming up. They were all then headed to watch some HS football games this afternoon....

We're going to be watching Texas Tech continue their awesome run to a national championship tonight!! Friends coming over to yell at the TV with us!! It's going to be tough but we'll make it through... Love football!!!

I'm going to try and post my green monster video with the puppies again.... and it's not freakin' working!! AGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I'm going to try and post it on the side... must share the fun with you! And I've tried for the last 2 hours to upload it... I will not give up!!!! I am not a quitter! It'll have to wait... for a bit!



Friday, November 7, 2008

Friday!...

Stayed home from work today to sleep. Slept last night but needed more. Slept til 245 this afternoon. Could go to sleep right now at 830 and sleep til tomorrow at 245. I think the rest of my body is pissy with my back... I think the rest of my body is saying "screw you" to my back.. I think the rest of my body, really meaning my MS, is jealous of my freakin' back. I think my MS is pissy because I'm not paying it any attention. First, I take away it's tizanidine. Then, I replace it with vicodin. I don't think MS likes pain meds.... I think it would rather have a yummy fatigue medicine or my spatisicty meds back instead of boring pain meds. I mean, come on, everybody's on some type of pain med.... but you have to be really special to get on some of the MS meds we have access to!! That's my theory anyways... Enough of that! I did make a follow-up appointment my neurosurgeon yesterday and will go next week. I'm not doing surgery ... there's going to be a middle option...

Okay, so I have some really good footage of the pups playing with the green monster... and I've tried 3 times to upload it onto the site.... I'll try again tomorrow. I need to get some quality time in with the other half since I slept the day away!!!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

WARNING!...

Rambling nonsense and verbal effusion about to ensue... There is absolutely no point to this point. Nada. Nothing. If something shiny pops in front of my face I'm likely to change topics mid-sentence (goes back to why I like the "...." so much!!!)

Had a crazy busy work week! UGH! One of those weeks you like because it's Friday tomorrow and I swear it was just Monday morning. One of those weeks you hate because you barely had time to eat lunch or even think during the week!! And, being what my profession is, busy is not good for me. I'm like the antithesis of what you want to be busy (and I just re-read that sentence and realize how ridiculous it is, but that's why I'm keeping it...Have I mentioned lately how much I like blogging??? LAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)

SHINY THING!!! Watching Friends reruns on TV. That is the one show I can equate with anything in life!! So funny! Who was your favorite Friend? My favorite girl was Monica...although I was known as Phoebe my freshman year in college. No comments! My favorite boy was always Chandler. Gotta love cute smart-asses! Sarcasm, done right, is sooooo yummy sometimes...

Another SHINY THING!! Lovable pooch running around with new dog toy that's as big as her!! So, it's a frog/spider thingy with 8 legs and it makes a really good squeaky sound. It's literally the size of the front part of her body! And she's been running around like crazy, squeaking it, and making the legs go all around her body... teasing the other puppy with it! I'll have to try and get a picture of it - hilarious!!!

Had to go rescue a friend tonight... abandoned in the galleria area of town having gotten out of a person's vehicle and refused to get back in. I don't blame her. That other person is Basic Instinct psycho!!!!!!!!!!! Good thing my friend does not have rabbits or any other pets! So, that was 2 hours in the car that we'll never get back. You can't bitch too much, cuz that's what friends are for... and she'd turn around and do the same dang thing for us! Course, I'm happy to be drama-free now... There are points in your life (when you're younger and stupider!) that you think it's not life if there's no "drama" but then you grow up and get smarter and realize it was the drama that life can always do without!! Then, puppies with green things taking up their entire mouth come running at you and you realize that's what life is about!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Course, nookie's good too!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA SHINY THING!! Course, isn't that always a shiny thing? You can be all serious in a meeting or with family and then BANG - nookie thought! You can't help it. See, it even distracted me from blogging!!

Back in the real world.... and I didn't even realize what a great transition that line would actually be. MS - doing good. Pretty tired most of the time and I think I'm going through a "fatigue" phase but I'm getting through it and caffeine is my best friend right now.... Back - double, horrible big freakin' : p~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Have a follow-up appointment with the neurosurgeon next week. I don't think the PT is working... now , have I been as good about doing my stuff at home but when you get home and the back hurts.... WTF? Anyways... I'm going to see if there's an in-between option between PT and surgery... I dunno. The allmighty internet says there are some pain-therapies that can be tried but it seems like it just dulls the pain to make life easier.... course, isn't that the solution? To make it where your life is not disrupted?? Enough about that - I'm sick of talking, bitching, whining, doing general discourse about it...

No, I wasn't reading the word of the day toilet paper today... I go through my SAT moments.... My verbal kicked ass (but I really don't know how much lower my math could have gone since you didn't have to repeat your name!) Shessh, have I bored myself enough? Probably. Tomorrow's Friday!! WOOO HOOOO!!

Good thing I'm about to end anyways, cuz I'm watching one of those funniest video shows and there's some funny stuff! I always thinks the animals are the funniest, cuz there's really no way to be planned or staged!

Hey, did you notice I put a new comedian over there in the video bar? He's Gabriel Igleasis.... Google his name or watch some of those videos!! Again, you can watch a butt load of his stuff on YouTube! He's got some bits about being pulled over by the popo that bring me to snot and tears!!! In such a good way!! Notice I'm a bit heavy on the metaphors tonight? Skydiving just came though..... I want to do that at some point - before I'm doing a copy of W Sr. Oooooh, have you seen the previews for the movie Twilight? It's based on Stephanie Meyers books... I cannot wait!!!!!!!

Okay, seriously, wrapping up right now. Right this second. I'm done. Finito. That's a wrap. Off-duty. End of shift. Crapped out. Later alligator!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

An American's Duty...

Is to vote. I don't care who you vote for (my buddy over at http://texas2tennessee.blogspot.com/2008/10/throwing-you-curve-ball.html says it much better than me) but you need to vote! I did... I didn't cash in for my free cup of Starbucks, Chik-fil-a sandwich, or scoop of Ben & Jerry's. I did it because that's what you're supposed to do. I'm refusing to watch any TV tonight or go to any internet site that has any reporting capabilities of the election... which is EXTREMELY hard to do at this point! I can't check my email on the computer because Y has nothing but election coverage.

I voted for 1 of 2 people for president. I'm
not going to say which one. I'll do my duty as a citizen and stand behind the leader of our free country. I might or might not be happy about it. My big thing is this... No Vote = No Bitch! So, no matter which man ends up in the office I can be a big ol' whiney butt about their policies - cuz I voted! I am glad I don't live in the county in which I work however because our new district attorney, no matter which person it is, is going to be horrible and going to "fix" a lot of things that do not need "fixing". SHEESH!! Course, that might have a big impact on my job... but not too much. I know I'm going to lose a couple of my friends in the prosecutor's office that are going to either go to the dark side (defense attorney) or get with another agency.

Now, onto really important matters... I woke up the other night gasping for air... It was about an hour after my C shot so I don't think it was that weird side effect that supposedly hits around the 3rd year on it. Now I'm noticing that I'm getting these "quickies" in deep breath gasps every now and then.... Not enough to be concerned about it but enough to cause me to blog about it (obviously!) Just needed to get it off my 'chest'... AHAHAHAH I didn't even plan that one!


Then, I had a really pissy day at work. No real reason for it, but you know those days that just make you want to run screaming from the buil
ding? Yeah, one of those. Again, no real reason for it. Had fun teaching the cadets at the academy yesterday. None of them fell asleep on me or my partner so that was a good thing! Ran into a buddy of mine who's going to be working for a former boss of both of our's... It will be interesting!

OH, UPDATE ON THE SNOOPY DOG BATTLE! WE WON!!! I told you it was on like donkey-kong! Truth be told, it really wasn't much of a fight. They received my well written letter detailing the faults of their plan and my corrections last Monday. Yesterday, an adjuster supervisor came to the house and AGREED WITH US! He was pissed because he said this was the 3rd one he'd done in the past week in which the original adjuster had seriously fubar'd up their report. So, we should be hearing something by the end of this week. I got to call the fence guy today and tell him to put us on the schedule. And, the adjuster supervisor got our roofer's name (who came to the meeting for us as he unde
rstood our argument that he does not get any $ if we don't get any $!) and said he would deal directly with us!

I'm now doing the SNOOPY DANCE!!


We might even get all the stuff done before Thanksgiving.... apparently we've missed the rush that most people were yelling for and could probably have the fence done next week, the roof about 10 days later, and the gutters right after that... course, then we have to get the bedroom carpets and kitchen floor after that!!!!!!!!! Ok, so we won't be hosting turkey day this year ... now it's just seeing if Christmas Eve will be back in Galveston like it should!
Keep your fingers crossed!!

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Whew... been busy...

I want to look as good as Tina Turner when I'm 68 years old!!! That was the best concert I've ever seen in my life! And I'm a concert-goer who has been to some good concerts! Garth in 2001 was amazing! But this was a phenomenal, extraordinary, wonderful performance from a personal favortie of mine! Supposedly she was also my first concert when I was around 2-3 years old. My mom told me and she and her 2nd husband took me to a Tina Turner concert and they had front row seats. Supposedly I was asleep for most of the concert, curled up in a ball, and supposedly (based on my mom's telling) I was the focus of Tina Turner's attention for a few seconds when she asked how anyone could sleep through her concert.... She played for over 2 1/2 hours, including a 25 minute version of Proud Mary! Spectacularly awesome!! I took a picture with my new phone... It's hard to see but part of the stage came up and became a plank to go out over the crowd and she was dancing all over it... Best Legs Ever!


So, that was Monday night. Then, I got a great call from my cousin JP and he was in town for work. Now, he's around 8 hours older than me and we've taken our first steps together, our early tastes of adult beverages together, and lots of mayhem in Little Rock growing up! But, like so often happens, LIFE happens and time gets away from us and we don't call or write enough. It doesn't matter with us though... we're always full of hugs and lots of laughter and feels like we just saw each other the week before. We had two wonderful nights together, catching up, and getting re-acquainted with each other since it had been about 3 1/2 years since we saw each other last. He's such a great man! I love him sooo much (and I'm not just saying this cuz I actually gave him the link to this blog!!!!)!!

So, that was Tuesday and Wednesday nights. Actually didn't have anything Thursday night but pretty much came home, ate and passed out due to the late previous 3 nights!! Course, Friday night... HALLOWEEN BABY!!! That is my absolute fave holiday of the year! Hard to guess one of my favortie colors is Orange - the kick-ass color of my kick-ass Jeep Wrangler (with a black top of course!) Our neighborhood has a ton of kids that come around and so we buy mucho candy and pass it out by the handful... this year it was actually a little less, and I think it's because it was a Friday night and people have parties and church's have get-togethers.. We ended up in a neighbor's yard drinking beer and laughing and talking for a little longer after no more visits by goblins! Besides candy, I found a recipe for a Monster Brew and was handing out little cups of it with gummy worms in it!! It was a mixture of OJ, sprite, lime sherbert, white grape juice, and some green food coloring - made it a very nice baby-poop green!!!! The kiddos loved it and some of the parents also found it a bit fun. Course, I was also offering an "adult" version of it with the vodka underneath my chair!!! LOL

Now, today... a very good day. I'm feeling pretty good, I've got a great honey, some very wonderful 4 legged kiddos - and we moved my partner's parents back home to Galveston Island today!!! We have taken back control of our house! Now, they were wonderful to have around and I'm actually going to have to get used to the quiet again... and going to have to cook dinner during the week again!! AHAHHAHAH Course, today was the first time back to the island for us... very depressing. I can't imagine seeing it even a couple of weeks ago, as the in-laws said that a lot of debris had been picked up. It was so brown with all the grass and trees and shrubs dead from the salt water soaking it got. The tons and tons and tons of sand where it should not be... But, there were some smiles to be had as well as there were a lot of people working and rebuilding and getting life back on track.

Sheesh, maybe I should've posted a warning label at the beginning of this post to warn you about the needless data that would be posted!!!!! Life is good. It pretty much always is, with the ups and downs, but my life is hunkey-dorey! I'm very thankful!!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Big Yawn...

I'm soooo staying away from the wing-ding choice.... not even getting within 4 choices!!! : p

I love Fridays. Payday Fridays are even better. Payday Fridays, 2 beers with dinner - great. Payday Fridays, 2 beers with dinner, with family - awesome!!

So, I didn't really have anything to type about so I was going to just blabber. Course, it's still not something to rush to your computer and go OMG! Then, you gotta love some of the positive sides for MS... never a dull moment! I'm sitting in bed, checking all the blogs and sites I take hits off of... I'd already changed positions once cuz my particular brand of spasticity likes to piss off my pectoral and latismus dorsi muscle groups... : ] I like to show off my halfway completed masters in biomechanics!!! I didn't survive A&P class for nothing!!!!!! [anyways, my chest & mid-back muscles that wrap around your sides]

Anyhows, I thought the change in position might help it calm a little bit down - it sometimes works. Whether or not it's a mental thing.. don't really give a rat's patootie! This time, it doesn't work. My honey complains a lot if I'm sitting on the couch next to her and they start going - I don't always feel it but she always does. So, I had her put her hand on the spot that was going nuts and asked her if that was what she kept feelin. Nope. Not it. So she gets "cute" and acts like she was going to punch it. I tell her to go ahead - it might help. She punches it. And punches it. And punches it. And punches it. And punches it. Get where I'm going here? Not too hard of a leap, huh?

After about a 30, 40 , maybe even a 60 count I calmly turned around and asked if all the aggression was out? L laughed and said almost. A few more counts and then it stopped. Slowly. A few more punches.... What brought about this tempest of rage? This explosion of violence? Well, the main reason is we got first word of our so called "insurance settlement". Let's just say I cracked up laughing - it was so horribly pitiful!!!!!!!! Quick reminder - Hurricane Ike came through on 9/12. We had 60+ mph winds at our house for over 12 hours. We had more than 50% of our roof shingles lifted up, will not re-seal, and all has debris underneath the shingles.... here's a quick laugh as how hysterical the insurance company is? They gave us $189 for 12 shingles. Let me tell you how I'm laughing my ass of, crying from how funny it is, can't breathe cuz I'm laughing so hard.

So, needless to say, the gauntlet's been thrown!! It is SO ON LIKE DONKEY-KONG!!! I've always been a fan of Charles Shultz, but the dog's going down this time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!