I heavily dislike scratching in public...

But the itchy/red welps on my body from my Copaxone shots annoyed the crap outta me today!!! I go through cycles, I've noticed, where they bother me more than other times. This week, not so good. My right leg shot from Saturday still looks like a nasty bump into my footboard of my bed! But, I'd rather have a few itchy spots than more lesions on my brain anyday!

Two things on my mind tonight as I watch MNF - Go Packers!! (course, that only applies to this game as my Cowboys still are #1!) Which leads me to my first thought.... I used to hate, and I mean HATE with muy emphasis on that word, needles. My mom used to like to tell the story about how I made her feel like the most horrible parent in the world when all the lobby of the doc's office saw was a white-haired streak of a little girl running through it screaming at the top of her lungs that her mommy didn't love her cuz she was making me get a shot... by the way, it was one of my immunizations! Even as an adult, I'm a little ashamed to admit (with the appropriate head bowed and humble look) I was very squeamish. Any time I had to have blood drawn or get a shot, I always had to warn the nurses that I would be fine as long as they made it where I would not see the actual needle and DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES tell me "You'll feel a little prick". Either one of those would induce my flight syndrome and I would immediately get up and leave. Yes, that's right - Leave an emergency room or doctor's office! I did it... now, I would usually return around 10-20 mins later after I got control of my panic attack and apologize. Where, the nurse would usually apologize for not believing my warnings. Luckily, I didn't get sick that often and my doc's nurses got used to me and believed me....

My first med was Betaseron. I got off that due to the anxiety/depression issues as well as a semi-allergic reaction. Obviously, I'm now on Copaxone. But, that first time I met with my Beta nurse to show me how to do the injections and mix the meds.... OMFFFFFFFFFGosh!!!!! NO WAY IN HELLLLLLLl!!! I almost passed out from just looking at the needle... the nurse was great and stayed the entire 2 hours it took for me to get comfortable enough to actually give myself the shot. She promptly called my NP after leaving and I had a magical anti-anxiety med prescribed for me for the 1st couple of weeks of taking it... Couldn't have me hyperventilate into an ER visit... I was off work anyways so it didn't hurt anything. And, I guess it tricked my mind enough to where I don't even really think about it anymore when I shoot up every night. I still think it's amazing though - how our minds can be so squeamish and cause such a physical reaction to a mental problem.

Which leads me to my 2nd thought for today... I had an MRI of my L-spine this morning. My NP, now that's I've recovered use of my right leg after a round of steroids and rest, wants to make sure the structure is all okay down there and not making my nervous system react in an MS way to a non-MS problem. No problem. I show up this morning, and was actually excited when I got to wear scrubs instead of that very revealing, uncomfortable, horrible little gown they like to put you in most of the time. We get done with the 23 mins of clicking and beeping and sounding like a very exciting game of space invaders and the tech tells me the radiologist wants me to have it with contrast as well, since I'm an MSer. No problem I say.. I'd take another 20 min nap! (yes, I'm one of those weird ones that actually catch z's in the tube!!! ) So, the nurse is there to shoot me up with Gallium (????? the one w/o the funny taste) and I tell her my shpiel (it still makes me feel better) and she remembers the first part but tells me the dreaded words.... I could not freakin' help it but I flinched and that needle stick HURT! It was not her fault - and I grimaced through it. They got the stuff in me and I got my 2nd cat nap. I get the results in 5-7 days and I went on to work. I'll have a bit of a bruise on my left arm where I got the shot but I survived.

Another day of docs and life with MS. Now it's time to go pay full attention to the pack and watch my puppies play - always good things to do.