Woo hooo!....

YEAH!! I had such a wonderful time with my nephews over this past weekend. It was so amazing. There are 3 of them under the age of 6 and it's totally organized chaos! My sis in law told me that it keeps getting easier and now they might discuss a 4th edition.... YIKES! The middle one is going through the terrible-terrible 3's and she offered to let me take him home... AHAHHAH

I also got to see a step-brother that I never really get to see cuz he lives in other states... and his daughter who I last remembered seeing her as a toddler. Amazing!! So smart and just a wonderful young woman! It was great to see my step-brother as well. I really hate using the prefix like that considering I've known him all my life... he's just as much my brother as my biological ones...

Funny - I couldn't help but look at all my little ones running around me and pray that they never get MS... or anything other than flu and the chicken pox and all the normal stuff... Nothing not normal. MS is normal - I guess. I know we've all experienced that "but you look so good" bit from people.

But, have you gotten this one: Well, if you're going to get a chronic illness - MS is the one to get.

I have. I've gotten that one. I didn't know how to take it or how to react... I've mostly just shrugged and mumbled something to the effect of "I guess so..." So, is it better that I have MS rather than... Lupus? RA? Cancer? CF? I have a co-worker that is a very good friend of mine. Her husband has CF - cystic fibrosis. She married him 5 years ago not knowing if they would celebrate their 5 year anniversary together... He's waaaaaaaaaaaay old for a CF'er at 34. They're trying to have kids - they went through a long and hard time trying to decide that one and I remember being a shoulder for her to cry on a couple of times during some of the harder parts of that conversation...

So, because he has a guarenteed death sentence at some point - barring a lung transplant - his disease is worse/better than mine? I would agree but how does that make either one of us feel? What about a friend who had about an apple sized tumor at the base of her brain removed a couple of years ago and it was malignant. She went through several rounds of chemo and last I heard she was still in remission at last check-up. Was that better than what I have? Technically I could be called in "remission" since I haven't had a flare in about a year... Her cancer could come back at any time, just like my MS could flare at any time...

My dad got told a verson of the same thing when he got diagnosed with CLL - if you're going to get cancer it's the one to get. He didn't know what to think of that and asked me about it. I didn't know what to tell him - I told him I had no clue either. I've read the Last Lecture - things would be a lot different with a fatal diagnosis. A lot different. Better or worse? That, to me, is like having a chicken versus egg discussion...

My partner has chron's... Had it for over 15 years now. She's been a life-saver in maintaining sanity with a chronic illness. She's been through all the phases of diagnosis - ever wonder in the similarity with it and the phases of grief?? In a way, we are in a state of grief over what we have lost.... I have better days than others in dealing with the grief. Today is a good day. I had a great swim at the pool and am enjoying a relaxing evening at home.