It's back on!!....

American Idol is back!!

I used to cuss the show (I was a reality show snob!) but now I watch from week 1 til the end. Everybody at work laughs at me... I was asking if anyone saw it last night and there will be no one to answer me tomorrow when I'm blonde enough to ask again!

Course, my supervisor can't make fun of me cuz she watches School of Charm, or whatever that show is with the singer from Poison finding all the slutty women he can. It got me thinking... what if there was a reality show that only featured people with MS?

And, make sure we got all representatives of our world in there.... We'd have the token male of course... All of the RRMS, PPMS, and SPMS reps... All sorts of canes, walkers, wheelchairs and the (not really so normal) 2 legged of us... A couple of kiddos in there, along with us 20-40 y.o.'s, and then our older representatives. Course, we can't forget the baby-diagnosed, coming to acceptance ones, and then our wonderful fore-mothers (and a few fathers) that have dealt with this since waaaaaaaay before it had a name...

Teri Garr could be the host! Clay Walker could serenade us to start us off, with a healthy dose of Pearl Jam's guitarist (who's name I cannot remember and don't feel like looking up right now) mid-way through to wake us all up from our fatigue-induced naps. We'd have regular shot night, super shot night (for those Avonex and other users that go into the muscle!!) and then the after-shot shots - we could see how many of us could name a symptom before repeating. Can you imagine how long that would take - that would be at least 3-4 30 min. episode!!

I don't really what we'd do on the show but blog and talk and laugh and cry and debate and bitch about the meds....talk about our Neuro's and compare hospital stays and trip stories (the falling kind, not the plane kind) I guess it'd be more of a daytime tv show - althought it might be appropriate to compete with Conan considering we're up late a lot and maybe call it MSI to compete with CSI (not really but that's where it came from to try and show a semi-brain pattern with this post! HA!) and it's a double entendre with Multiple Sclerosis Insomniacs AND Multiple Sclerosis Investigates!!

We'd have to have it be some type of variety show cuz there are just too many personalities to try and group all into a type-cast (no matter how hard a lot of the pharmaceuticals keep trying to do to us!) Then, we could have a WWE night where we throw a bunch of our medicine into a big vat of, I dunno, something really smelly and thick that would be appropriate to destroying meds! And, we could also put a bunch of meds on the floor and we could all take turns stomping, rolling, beating, a bunch of different meds....

I'm going to apologize for this post... I had no idear what the heck was going to come spewing out of the keyboard tonight and I just went where the lesions took me!!! Ruminate on that!! : ]

Wok this way....

So, this is my Christmas present (by choice)!! Not the broccoli - the wok!! This was my first venture using it last night... And it was a success! It came out tasting very yummy - and that's not just my taste buds talking!! Anybody that wants to be bored by the recipe - let me know... It was not at all hard and you could do it in a regular skillet as long as it was deep enough... But it was so fun going wang chung last night!!

Here's the picture with the meat added...


Voila! I'm going to try a shrimp one next. I also got a roasting pan for Christmas (again by choice) and I used that one a couple of weeks ago. I made prime rib! It also turned out pretty good. And, I have 3 other mouths to verify that... We invited another couple over that would not be offended if we had to order pizza afterwards and we did not have to!! That's when you know you have good friends - they agree to eat things you cook when you have never cooked them before.... now that takes real guts and love from friends!!!

I had it again tonight and it's tomorrow's lunch... I'm not shy of left-overs... of certain kinds of food. There are just some things that just suck the day afterwards..... like rice. I hate 2nd day rice. That's only good once - and fresh out of the pot. Can't really think of other things that suck the next day except the 2nd day in a hospital or the 2nd day of IV steroids.... That's the day that horrible headache hits you if you don't eat everything in your pantry ALONG WITH the naseau that goes so well with a fully distended belly....

But I digress... I was only going to talk about food and yummies!! So, it must be time to bid adieu... : ]

Celine is the cure!!!...

It's Saturday and the weekend - so much better!! We went to the Celine Dion concert last night. It was so freakin awesome!! She was amazing!! Her voice is so freakin' awesome... and she's just like a big kid. She makes funny faces and talks quite a bit - but then sings all the good songs and has a bunch of very cool dancers. I'm a "So You Think You Can Dance" junkie (another thing the other half is responsible for) and I was excited to recognize the dancers doing Pasa Doble (have no clue if that's spelled right) during one of the numbers. It was so beautiful. My other half is not a very big concert fan but I drag her booty to them. She even really enjoyed this one. Sitting in those stadium chairs was not easy on the back, but that's the reason they make pain pills!! The concert was so good I really even did not notice it that much.

Her opening act was a comedian/singer named Gordie Brown. He did song impressionism and was hilarious. Let's just say he sang a song about Elton John's new fashion design of g-strings... We were sitting next to an older couple and they were crying and whooping and hollering with all of us. It brought me out of my funk - therefore Celine is the cure!!

I hate change sometimes... I'm a Libra, it should all be balanced out!!!! Sometimes it takes me a while to adjust to a new norm. Like the new work norm. Do I like it... not particularly. Is there anything I can do to change it - not even likely. Do I want to change my position - nope. That leaves me with dealing with it and making the best of it for me. I can do that and that's what I'll just have to tell myself. I'll adapt - eventually. And it really shouldn't take me too long just because I get bored with feeling sorry for myself. It's really annoying and I don't like being a cry-baby. Thanks for letting me vent.

It got cold again here. Well, cold for SE Texas... Our high's going to be around 61 today, so we've gotten our heavy coats out. HAHAHAAHHAHAHHAHAH Hey, anything below 70 is very cold for us. Chillin out today and going to eat a good dinner at a fave restaurant tonight... well, technically we're meeting with the event manager at one of our fave restaurants to plan a very exciting celebration for this May. Lots of yummys for the tummy tonight!! Although we did stumble upon a very neat little place last night for dinner. I had their chicken salad sandwhich and it had pears in it and the dressing was a little different but very good!!! We will be going back to Anita's in Montrose - they have pitcher mimosas for Sunday brunch... sounds like a future friend gathering to me!!!

: p ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~....

That's how I feel. I'm pissy. I'm sad. I'm pissed off. Everything is making my eyes tear up. I feel useless at work. I can't sit down at work and so my feet fuckin' hurt - I'm talking fire ants up the coochie hurt!!!

I've been back at work for 3 whole days now. Yip-bitch-ee. Things have changed so much since 11/13. My 2 closest co-workers are across the hallway with another good co-worker. Another co-worker is at with the feds full time across town, with her partner with her 2 days of the week. Our newest people into the units aren't bad people but their fabric doesn't match the existing, worn-in, perfect fit jeans we used to have. The best supervisor in the unit is more than likely going to promote so that's going to suck. She was my direct supervisor but I got switched in the restructuring our unit went through right before I went out.... I'm a good little indian (literally, since I'm Cherokee) and really have no desire to promote and can pretty much get along with almost any supervisor...

I'm not a ass-muncher but I know how to nod my head and indicate an understanding of their stoopid idea and then get it done my way... and, hell, if they're idea is better I'll use it! I don't feel very trusted in my job. I notice the one boss, who normally is very straight forward and believes in being totally honest did not look me in the eye today when I just happened to mention I liked teaching the rookies and would be available to fill in when the #1 team could not make it. She just said they haven't discussed it - buuuuloney poop. I don't think they trust I'll be around enough to give me any responsibility.

I hate that. I hate that so much I wonder if it would be better just to find another home. Get people and supervisors that don't know that I'm a good worker but just think I just have issues of not ending up in a hospital for a week or out with a flare for a couple of weeks. I HATE THIS FUCKING STOOOOPID RIDICULOUS DISEASE. I sort of wish I'd experienced the hell of going 10+ years without being diagnosed - I think I'd be better off just thinking I'm a clumsy blonde with horrible medical luck.

I'm never the smartest, funniest, prettiest, anything-est in a crowd whether it be personally or professionally. The one thing that sets me apart and why you'd hire me is my willingness to work hard and the fact that you can count on me to do what I say. So, that's where my self-worth is based, at least in my work. So, take away that and I'm worth less than toe jam. So, being not trusted at work - I'm toe jam's ugly drunk cousin (married to their cousin - and my tree has roots in Arkansas so I'm allowed).

This fuckin' sucks. I'm sorry I've got trucker-mouth. I just don't give a possom's ass.... everybody's always thinks the rat's ass means more but I personally think a possom's is uglier.

New Comedian...

Sorry for leaving it on Gabriel Iglesias for so very long over there on the funnies... But he was very funny!! "Cuz you smelled'em" is my favorite line!! HAHAHAHAAH And, he's got the best laugh.

But, another very very very cynically funny and truthful man is Lewis Black. You can watch a ton of his stuff on youtube but also on comedy central's website. Enjoy his humor!! AHAHAHAHAHAH

Operative Summary...

I know I'm one of the lucky ones that not only has really good insurance with work (my papa always told me to get a government job for the benefits...) but I also have supplemental insurance. I do have to be a part of a union to do this but that then gives me a tax write-off so..... One of my very bestus friends in the world is battling some very serious crappola in her brain and has done so for the past couple of years without any insurance... along with a very pesky freakin knee!!! Have any of you lost your sense of smell?? She has.... can you imagine not being able to taste??? And she's a helluva cook - I'll only eat her tiramisu and her lemon chicken is to diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie for!!!! So, know that this post IS NOT bitching about my insurance in any way shape or form - even if it deserved to be bitched at I would not because of some of my friends - in person and online - do not have any to bitch about!!!

However, it made for some interesting reading when I got my neurosurgeon's Operative Summary Report which I had to get to file my claim with the duck. Turns out my little foray into back surgery was a little more complicated once they opened me up>>>>

The nerve root and thecal sac were found to be severely displaced posteriorly due to the underlying ruptured disc. There was a small tear of the ligament with a small extruded fragment... Some disc material extruded spontaneously under high pressure. The disc space was further entered, and any remaining soft disc fragments were removed piecemeal.

I went into surgery being told that my disc was more than likely under heavy pressure and due to it being "insert word I don't remember here" but it was something like dehydrated and they would be removing a portion of the disc that was pressing on my nerve root. Post-surgery my doc told me everything went great, they got the part of the disc being pressed upon out, and I was good to go. Was I told that I had a small tear in my ligament on my spine? Nope. Was I told that there were fragments of my ligament also in that area? Nope. Was I told that my disc had officially ruptured (remember that word!)? Nope.

Do I care? Ummmmm, trying not to. Did y'all ever get stitches growing up? I didn't. I now have a couple of scars on my chin and legs and fingers that should have gotten stitches. My mom's cure was always to drown it in hydrogen peroxide, tons of guaze held in place sometimes by duct-tape (and for those of you wondering... yes, some of my formative years were spent in a trailer park!!!) and a kiss to make it better. What did I do? I believed her and went about my business. It didn't hurt anymore and I didn't think anything of it because she didn't think anything of it.

I rather wish I had not read the doctor's statement. I was fine thinking it hurt before, he fixed it, and it doesn't even come close to hurting that bad anymore and recovery pain is always better than hurt pain!!! I know I'll get over it, but it keeps jarring around in my brain. Think of how much stuff hits those lesions in our brains and just gets lost? Why doesn't this info get lost in a lesion?!?!? I told it to stick it's head up my cervical lesion figuring it would appreciate still being in my spine. It stuck it's tongue out at me! (well, it sorta waved a piece of floating ligament at me in my vision but that's sorta gross....)

I'm now hanging out at home, having already scanned the doc's report in for posterity and sealed it up to send to the duck's claim office. I did my first full day back in the office today since 11/13... I got through one pile and have another to do tomorrow and then I got told this afternoon I have to fill in at the academy tomorrow and teach in the afternoon. I'm cleared to drive but I haven't really done any yet just for comfort level. Guess I'll get over that real quick!

2009...

Wow - can you believe it's already the 4th of January, 2009?? Looks like this year is going to fly by just like 2008. New Year's Eve was an absolute blast! Spent with very good friends, lots of food, and so much laughter my sides still hurt. We have a couple of traditions at the annual eve gatherings....

The first is watching a dvd of pictures of all the events, gatherings, and fun had by all of us throughout the year. It's a lot of "oohs" and "cuuuuute" and "HAHAHAHAHA"s as the 300 pictures go by to usually a very upbeat song about good life and good friends. We had pics from the camping trip, Cozumel, birthday dinners, KS dance, and random dinners and lunches. JP always does a great job of putting it together and we all are a bit teary eyed at the end just remembering all the good times. Luckily, this year, nobody on the viewing was lost... we'd had 2 years running where we had a picture of a lost loved one (a good friend's sister and friend both to breast cancer for those 2 years - I didn't really know either of them really well but anything that tugs at my friends' hearts tugs at mine!) We all gets copies of the DVD as well as the cd of the pictures used. JP mentioned that she's going to have to use the next biggest slide show that will allow 450 pictures for the next year because she said she still had a lot more to put in....

The second one is only in it's 2nd year of new year's eve tradition - but we're going to keep it around for a while. We did a white elephant panty exchange! Let me tell you how hard my sides were hurting at all the laughing we did! Apparently last year there was the biggest pair of granny panties ever seen by anyone - this year it was the "sexy" stuff that had us rolling! I think I did pretty well with the pair I submitted to the party - it was a pair of underwear for 2... It had 4 leg holes!!! OMFG!!! I'm starting to choke from laughing hard at just the memory of T & B putting them on!!! I forgot my camera but I know there are TONS of pics of that moment... although the first couple ones were blurry because the ones taking the pics were laughing their arses off!! I won't mention what I came home with but it was very good! I didn't get the yummy ones because those were present!!!! And it always the quiet ones that you have to watch out for - the quiet one walked away from the exchange after stealing a very very very VERY teeny tiny Raquel Welch type thong..... we asked for pics but I doubt we get them!!! LOL

I had so much fun bringing in 2009. Much better than bringing in 2008 - that was spent in St. Luke's Hospital where my other half woke me up a few minutes before midnight to celebrate and to tell me I could have more pain meds if I wanted them. They never did figure out what the hell was wrong with me - the final discharge papers said "viral intestinal infection". I guess that's what they put when you spend a week in the hospital unable to keep anything down running a temp over 101 for 4 days..... Course, that's also when my body introduced me to spasticity. Hadn't had any dealings with it before that - my neuro said the fever probably awoke that giant. Needless to say...glad I was able to bring in this year differently.

I really don't have a lot of "resolutions" for this year. We all want to be better people - in our jobs, our relationships, and in life. That's a given. I really just want a year free of a hospital stay and a surgery - they don't always go hand in hand together... Remember that horrible spinal tap? I count that as a surgery - especially since I had to go get "plugged up" 4 days later when they hadn't fully plugged me up after the original tap. That wasn't a hospital "surgery" or "stay" but that much time in the freakin' ER qualifies!!! Seriously, though - I accept that this disease means way too many doctor's visits but I'd rather sit in my neuro's waiting room the whole day to avoid a hospital stay and/or procedure. I've got that wonderful optomotrist's visit at the end of this month with the vision field test ... I'll bore y'all with that later this month when I get to britch about the after-effect headache and dizziness. I just want to go this year without having a hospital visit/procedure claim on my supplemental insurance - is that really too much to ask?? AHAHHAHA

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!