Swimming....

So, stooopid MS interrupted my swim for the first time! I should be excited that this is the first time in so many swims... But, on my last round of laps my right foot seized up to my knee. Well, that's a little bit of an exaggeration, since it just bent up to my ankle...

I hate spasticity - really, that's my biggest bitch... or, more aptly, it's the part of my MS that makes me it's biggest bitch! When my legs or arms start going - I'm screwed!!! That damn lesion on my C5....

But, I did still have a good swim since it happened in the last 2-3 minutes of my swim. So, I didn't lose that much. Course, I was then royally creeped out when the creepy old man sitting in the hot tub offered to rub my foot - TWICE!

So, I had already spent about 2-3 minutes in the pool trying to rub out the spasm but it had moved to my calf. Now, not only am I pissed about my foot I get to waddle to the hot tub to sink my foot (and only my foot!) in there - very obvious that I was cramped up. He's across the spa from me and asks if I'm okay - no problems there... I looked horrible with my waddle over the hot tub.

BUT, BUTTTTTT, BUTTTTTTT - would you offer to rub a complete stranger's foot?? In the hot tub of the gym??? EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW I was still polite and my inner beauch did not come out. I declined and then he was okay with the chit-chat...

Until, yup - you guessed it!!!! By this time he's moved to my side of the hot tub and he offers again, and just so I know he's serious - he's leaned in and scooted closer. Okay, if I could have run away at that point I would have - but my foot's still turned into my ankle and not wanting to give it up. Again - no bitch, I think because my foot's still got too much of my attention but I say it a little bit more forcefully and I think he's got the hint...

Luckily, within a few more minutes my foot released enough to escape to the women's locker room... Sigh - MS is enough to deal with... why did I have to deal with creepy old guy at gym, too????

Music good for MS?

Have you gotten your Momentum magazine yet? I did and it was so nice to hear... well, you know what I mean. (Warning to shiny thing: anybody know the term for the symptom of when you hear words? I actually tried to google it and it was pretty funny some of the non-related issues that came up...)

The article was "CAM: Music and the brain may be therapeutic duet" and here it is. Anyways, the issue talks about how music might actually help with brain function. The music stimulates parts of our brains simultaneously and gets a lot of neurons and synapses excited and they start dancing along to the music... Then, that's a good thing because if there's more than one area going at the time...

Keeps our brains good when they need it. We know that our brain needs regular activity to keep it young and healthy. I've been trying to be good and play my brain age game on the DS. That or soduku or scrabble or anything that makes me think (despite trying to refuse to do that away from work).

I have to say that I really liked reading that article because it can justify my music addiction. Yes, I will admit I have a problem. Hey, my name is Holly and I am a music addict. Now, I'm not one of those addicts that'll just jam on anything. No, I have my preferences. My true temptation is not THE Temptations - it's THE Judds - and all those other artists with a twang thang... My faves are Reba, Trisha, Martina, Terri, Wynonna, Gary, Trace, Kenny, those Rascalls, and really I need to stop now because I haven't even gotten to Pat, Bleu, Garth, Hank, Johnny, Patsy, Conway, or so many others... Although, I tend to agree that I have to get to know you a while before I let you get anywhere near my Willie!!!

Okay - deep breath - I'm getting really excited typing over here. Cuz, I don't think you're feeling just how deep my addiction goes. I have an Ipod that I just recently got because my old one, one of the early generation 20GB ones, was full. Yes, you read that right - FULL! I now have the 120GB so that should last me a while. If you have joined that evil, evil, cult known as an Itunes user, you know that they allow you to keep a special tab of those songs that fall under "purchased" - as opposed to some of my other playlists like "Wanna Listen", "Paisley", and TC.

And that "purchased" isle has caused some trouble with me. Again, I have to admit - I have a problem. I know admittance to the problem is half the battle. The other half the battle - well, I said and I had a freakin' problem, didn't I? I will not name the number of songs on my Ipod and I will for sure as hell not tell you how many of those fall under the purchased album. I can tell you, to be fair about my problem and battle with this addiction, that I still have about 200 cd's still to add to my collection... Now, this is old CD's that I've had for a long time and probably about 30 from the merging of my own and my other half's collection...

But, thanks to the latest issue of Momentum magazine, I realize I no longer have a problem. I have a treatment!!! Yes, folks.... I now own the equivalent of a brain TENS unit!!!!!! I just put those electrodes (earbuds) into my ear and select my playlist (how about Just Because) and make sure the volume isn't at 13 year-old level and BOOM! I've got instant brain therapy!! I wonder if all my purchases can be written off as medical expenses now? Seriously, any MS CPA's out there that'll help me out with this one?!??!!

I've got a new toy!!!...

And it's sooooo awesome!! I got a new stove!! It's soooo pretty!!! It's a gas range with 5 burners - with the 5th center burner that's long. I'm soooo happy!!!

We had friends over last night and grilled steaks and I baked beer bread and peach cobbler and they both turned out wonderful!! And, that's using verbal feedback from the people who ate it!! LOL I also used the top burners to whip up some mashed potatoes and saute'd bell peppers. YUMMERS!

Now, the reason we (well, need to be honest - I) decided to finally break down and buy the new stove was because the old one was finally breaking down! We were having to use a lighter to light the burners because the igniters built in were no longer working. That's not a deal-breaker... Annoying but completely able to work with it. But when it started to mess with my brownie-making capabilities because the heating was so uneven and not maintaining temperature - NU UH!!

Two weeks ago the other half put up a ceiling fan in the kitchen for me to reduce heat. Well, turned out we might not have needed that - seems our old stove was unable to maintain heat because it was letting most of it out!!! We all know how MS and heat love each other - so anything requiring me to be over/next to the stove for a little while was not a good combo. The new stove keeps all the heat where it belongs - in the stove!

My honey kept laughing at me because I just kept making yippee noises as I went about making my bread and desserts. Hey, it's the little things in life - I love my new stove!!

We've had a good weekend. Hung out with the neighbors quite a bit. One of the best silver linings from Hurricane Ike was the new friends we've made in all of our neighbors. Seriously, we would wave and exchange polite conversation with everyone in the cul de sac. But, now - beers and sarcasm and fun!! We all ended up in chairs in one our neighbor's front yards with all the kiddos running around and laughing and talking. Coversation is not a problem! And, last night we had people from all but 1 of the houses (8 total) sitting in J's front yard. And, as much as we'd love to have the complete circle - no one's missing that one house... I'm sure they're nice people but they have not tried to get to know people at all - even during and after the hurricane when we were all sharing extension cords and ice and grills and propane and feeding everyone - they never came outside!!!!

We're in a major drought down here in SE Texas. We're like 7-8 inches below where we normally are for the year in rainfall. It really bites!! We've all just accepted the brown spots in the yard - we can only water so much!! And, even thought August in Texas is normally hot as hell - it's even more than normal! I have been indoors even more than normal because of the heat. I've only worn my cooling vest once - just because I have not been going outside.

And, you'd think without any rain we'd have less mosquitos. True - to an extent. Course, I was enjoying my cold Blue Moon(s) and hardly noticed the damn nuissances biting me until the next day. Now - my legs and feet are covered. How the hell did they get underneath my foot? I actually have a bite on the underside of my arch on my right foot??!?!?! I never knew how much my tizanidine would help my legs deal with too many mosquito bites!! AHAHHAHAH

Do I have MS?...

That was one of the results of a search query that my other half did this past Saturday. There was a reason we were doing a search, though... and it was funny little endeavor for the evening...

So, I'm just chillin out and laying on my side on the couch. My honey was at the other end relaxin. We just put a movie on when my phone beeps that I have a text message. I grab my phone to look at it - and I can't see it.

Well, that's not a truly accurate description - I could see that there were words on a white background on my phone but there was this lightening bolt shooting across my eye and vision field. And, anytime I moved my head the bolt moved with me. As I kept blinking and shaking my head, thinking maybe I had my head tilted a little off or my eye was just a little dry - nope. The bolt was there the entire time.

I looked up towards anything on the wall or away from the tv. Now, the bolt was joined by a ripple moving through anything I attempted to focus on - with the emphasis on "attempted to"... So, we go to the handy-dandy google search on lightening bolt in the eye. One of the first things that popped up was a "Do I have MS?" title to a link to a post on WebMD.com. We cracked up!!! We were laughing very hard.... I'm sorry - ENNNGGHGGGHGH - no whammy no whammy no whammy - do not pass go and do not collect $200 - I already have MS!!

I hollered at my doc friend - no biggie just holler at me so we can laugh at this new MS symptom. Well, we actually did find something that fit on WebMD. Basically, my eye had a little "migraine" and decided to take a break from normal functioning. It lasted right about 20 minutes and it was gone. I had a bit of a headache later that night that tylenol was able to quash. I don't remember the exact term that we found but it was basically an eye headache - apprently it can also be a pre-cursor to a migraine so I was a little worried about that.

I do have a history of migraines but hadn't had one in a while (2 years). And, we had tickets to Phantom of the Opera the next day with 3 other couples. I was a little tired the next day but I wonder if it would have been better to not have done anything the next day. I did not sleep at all on Sunday night and did try to go into work on Monday morning... Got all dressed and drove in - althought I was falling asleep while driving in. I got up to the office and literally had to put my head down on my desk because I could not keep my eyes open.

After 45 mins I went and told the boss I felt like hell and he confirmed I looked the part as well... I came home and slept, literally, all but a total of 3 hours for the next 18 hours. I woke up to go to the ladies room at 1245 and 430 - the other half woke me up at 6 to eat a little bit and then I was back in bed at 730 - and was alseep by 8 and slept until the alarm went off this morning. I have to admit - I have been tired and I've felt that MS fatigue - but, to borrow a fellow blogher's phrase - this was my first experience with train-wreck fatigue that was not associated with a fever or flare.

I could NOT keep my freakin' eyes open. I had no problem sleeping last night despite sleeping all freakin day. Today, a little tired but no more than normal. Had a very interesting meeting. I don't speak computer but I know how antiquated our system is for record management. So, the city has accepted the bidder for our new system and they're beginning to create it and our meeting with all the different divisions of our department. Today was our division - and I was ordered to attend. I thought it would be in all zeros and ones but it was actually in English.

I'll be invited back to play with it as they modify and make things right... should be fun! Course, I'll have to stay awake in the meetings!!! AHAHHAHAHAHHAHA That's what they make route44 sonic drinks for!

So you think you can....

Dance is sooooo awesome!!!

I just wish I could move like that... It would be awesome to just have Mia Michaels choreograph a number for me. Course, she'd have to forget how she's worked with all those amazing dancers that could move and twist and turn and DANCE! LOL

If you don't know the show or don't think you'd like it... Check out this Emmy-winning performance that Mia Michaels won a couple of years ago... I have to admit I'm against any/all reality tv. I don't make fun of anybody that does - it's just that I get too much reality at work so I don't like to watch it at home. Now, I have to admit to laughing my arse off at tru tv's worlds stupidest criminals show.

Now, that is some hilarous stuff!! I call it job security! But, getting back to what little point I have... So You Think You Can Dance is sooooo awesome!! I'm watching it as I type and have to admit to being distracted quite a bit. Especially since Ellen's on it tonight. Another funny person!!

Course, I've also been a bit distracted lately by a new little symptom that is a little annoying. And, I'm not really sure it's even a symptom or not. Probably so, just because any little piece of shit thing that goes "wrong" with the body - gotta be the MS. Like every House episode - MS has gotta come up at some point...

My legs itch. They really itch. They itch to the point of hurts. They itch to the point of me scratching til the legs turn red - probably from the blood, but who knows. : ] Kidding - a bit. And, why the hell does a heating pad work to tame some of our symptoms, when heat is the worst thing for us??

Seriously, I'm a big fan of irony but that's not really funny. Know what's been getting the itchies to calm down? Epson salt baths - warm to hot baths. Really?!?!?! Heating pad - turned up at least to medium or it doesn't work... *sigh* I've just been laughing at my legs like I laugh at all the other ironic pieces and bits of this wonderfully crappy disease.

I have to admit today turned out to be better than I thought it was going to be. I woke up all flushed and hot and sweaty but no fever. Okay - shower helped that feel better. Driving into work, my hands kept tingling off and on and fingers were going numb off and on. No big deal because the whole thing wasn't going off/on... Can make driving my standard a little bit interesting, but I've got a really big knob on it - It's very cool cuz it's actually an actual MLB baseball!!! And, now that I've had it on there a while it's all dirty and looks like a baseball should - all mucked up!!

Oh well... I was too tired to do my swim on Tuesday so I'm really going to want to end up at the gym tomorrow. I have to go out to the academy and edumacate some wanna-bes and that usually runs a little bit long, so we'll see.... Okay - the dancing is getting too distracting. Off to finish the show!!!

I got the coolest...

new toy!!! I used it on my swim yesterday. And, now, I'm a little more sore than normal since I swam a little faster than normal and a little longer...

I got a gadget that lets me swim while listening to my ipod!! I'm sooooo stoked!! And, the ear phones work as ear plugs so I wasn't dealing with some vertigo issues afterwards due to water in the ear. And, before you go being all helpful with suggesting normal ear plugs or a swim cap - hate hate hate HATE those things. I'd rather have a bit of hair in my face than deal with a dang cap.

I haven't tried one in years but I just remember all the pulling and UGH! Course, I do not have a sensitive head anymore so I really should... : p~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (that's the smiley equivalent of going SPTHHHHHHHHHHH)

I had a really good swim! Course, some scwiggly little troll jumped in my lane in the middle of a lap without warning with 2, I repeat freakin' 2 open lanes!!! I was even on the opposite side from the stepped entrance!!!!!! Course, i just grapped my water bottle and jumped over to the middle lane. And, then.... she was maybe in the pool for 10 minutes. Hey, I'm all for doing anything - absolutely anything, even if it's 5 minutes - to get a workout and movement in. But she stayed at one end and I have no clue what she was doing and THERE WERE 2 OPEN LANES!!!! So, I was in the pool for 2 more rounds (4 more songs with a small rest in between so probably around 15-20 minutes) more.

She was in the hot tub when I was leaving - which then brought about my jealous green envy for the fact that she got to get in and enjoy that heated tub of bubbles and I can only look and maybe stick my calves in every now and then. So, I tried to make nice kharma and look over and sorta do that head-bob-semi-smile-eye-contact that sorta says "hey" in a gym setting that's not scary or creepy, ya know? I musta put too much eye contact or scary into it though - I think I scared the crap outta her. Not only did she drop her eye-contact but she physically moved further into the hot tub away from me...

Okay, seriously - I can be scary. I can get very very scary - and then I can hit that holy hell that makes you reach for rosary beads even if your Jewish, ya know? Anyways, I only use that last one at work and I've never had to go 2-very's on anything outside of work so I don't know... I mean - I'd probably look a tad scary if I had the swim-cap on... *shrug* I don't think she was old enough to drink yet, so maybe I've reached that age where I now scare people between a certain age demographic... Little ones like me cuz I'll be a silly person around them. That weird pre-teen and early teenagers like me cuz I do have a few good jokes that are suitable for them and I actually talk to them instead of at them! My teenage niece seems to like me and all my friends' teenage kids remember my name out of all of the others (and I don't where a bikini when I swim- so that's saying something!!)

But, I remember being that awkward young adult that was too old to be a teenager but "wise" adults scared me a little bit - how do I talk to them and relate to them when I still wanna think about scoring some alcohol but also want to have philosophical discussions about the big man/woman controlling the universe and where dippin' dots came from... We'll see. IF she jumps in my lane again then it just means she got a hold of some bad hydro. IF she gets into one of the empty lanes - well, I'll try not to scare her next time.

Wow - didn't know where the hell this was going and didn't realize that little girl had made an impact on the dura mater but it did. Work is work. Life is wonderful and all is good. Screw everything else, right?? : ]

Sundays would be better....

if they didn't lead right into Mondays and a return to work! HAHAHAHA

I love my job so it's just a matter of having to follow a set of rules to earn money and benefits and hopefully be able to retire to a house near the water while I'm still able to cast a line...

I know my life would be different if I'd just win a major lottery with at least 4 million. I see 2 problems to this happening, though. 1 - you have to PLAY the lottery to be able to win it!! AHAHAHAH 2 1- ever seen all those documentaries about those people that do win the lottery? They don't fare too well, do they?

I'm able to enjoy things right where I'm at so I'm not bitching or whining - Isn't more than enough financial security something that one always dreams about having?

My left arm decided to play nice with the rest of my body by the next morning. Course, the day after one of those body temper-tantrums, whatever part of the body that decided to do their own thing... pretty sore. Luckily I didn't have to do a lot of typing the following day at work so it got rested.

Course, work was really messed up after some co-workers emptied a good doctor's house, clinics, and storage unit and I'm helping them go through it all... If I didn't believe in evil before my job, I certainly would now. There's no way other than to believe in evil after seeing some of the things I've seen. Course, I also believe in all the good that is out there and that is primarily where my heart and soul take up residence because I still believe in constant laughter and smiles and all that is wonderful.

My next mission, which I have chosen to accept, is to find myself a new stove. The one I have right now is on it's last legs. It's having it's own moments of MS sympathy pains with me... It's flames don't always fire right (I have to use a lighter to get the burners to work) and sometimes it doesn't distribute heat in a good manner (brownies taking over an hour to make - not cool when you're in steroid crave mode!!) . I know what I want I just gotta find the one that's in my price range. Then, I'll allow the old one to proceed to the stove other-world.

i'm trying to prove i'm boss...

but it's not working very well...

my left hand and arm are moving through a tar pit right now -- tar pit filled with slow drying concrete mixed sand.

i am making myself type with both my hands to type this so i can prove i am the boss. how's that working out for myself - i started this post 10 minutes ago! i'm a 90+ minute a word typer normally.... i learned on the old typewriter that the keys had to be pressed 3 inches deep to get the letter on the paper. Keyboards rock!!!

OK - no caps this post cuz it's too hard to hit that shift key and stretch. and, i will not keep typing that fuckin slow. i'm debating leaving all the typos in as well cuz deleting is annoying as well.

had a great swim yesterday. am rewarding myself with a waterproof ipod case to swim with now. have been swimming pretty regularly. it's been great and i feel better. have had some cramps in my feet of all places - caused me to skip my last interval last thursday but i've been able to ignore a lot of them. swallowed a lot of water when that last one hit me. at least i use mouthwash!

we're headed back into another several days with 100+ temps. we hit 114 heat index this past weekend. it's going to be one of the hottest on record - even for se texas!! august is going to bite!! oh well - lots of visits to friends pools and the beachhouse!! i love the 70 spf - it works!!!

So much fodder...

Going on in the big bad world right now - I have a ton of thoughts on all of it but none of it worth blathering about on here... I thought I'd blather about other things that I do want to talk about tonight.

First, I must perform a bow of respect to Herrad over Access Denied for granting me my award...

I promise to find some new blogs to open my horizons and view different perspectives, both about and not-about MS, and pass along the gracious bow to them!! Thank you!!

First of all - It's one of my regular visits and I LOVE the way she's able to put into words all of those "weird" feelings we get:

My Journey with MS
Thank you Kimberly! For you tireless courage to keep on keepin on!!

Crohn'S Disease - Living with Crohn's Disease Blog
Our myelin is not the only thing our immune disease likes to feast on! Scottie Roy puts an athletic face on this disease - which is luckily becoming more common! It's amazing how much the diseases have in common!

Confessions of a CF Husband
The amazing triumph of this family is amazing!! Just drop by there - plenty of good writing and lots of pics of a cute kiddo - what's not to love??!?!

The OTHER mother
Families come in all shapes and sizes and this one happens to have 2 mothers. Can be political but covers a lot of fun stuff, with a unique perspective.

Texas 2 Tennessee
Well, if you can't promote your friends shamelessly, what's the use of having a soapbox??? A member of my family's journey to find herself amid this adventure we call life!!

WoW!! Going through all my blogs that I drop by and visit I wish I had enough room to write a personal note for each one!! I want to say thank you to all of y'all that take the time to share with others online!

Recovery day...

From a non-MS related issue. Nope, this time the issue is Vegas. Sheesh - I'm tired!! Course, when you average going to bed at around 2 in the morning and getting up around 8 or 9, plus a lot of walking aaround and sight-seeing. Luckily, this was not my first time to the city that never sleeps so I didn't have to hit all the main tourist spots that I did last time. Course, I still haven't seen the pirate ship sinking at Treasure Island....

We all gathered in that wonderful sin city for a friend's 50th birthday party. We had a blast!! And, I got to see the divine Miss M up close and personal!! She is so freakin amazing!! I love Bette Midler!!! And her show was soooooo gooooooooood!!! Hilarious and yet very touching, I cried through my laughter throughout my show.

So, today I was able to take off just to rest. And, not because of horrible fatigue but just because I needed it. That's only the 2nd time this year that I have taken a day off not due to vacation or sickness!! I had to tell my supervisor this morning that I was fine, I just wanted to take the day off. She laughed and said that was a new one for me!! And, then granted my request. That's okay - I'll take them donuts tomorrow. They probably know that, too!!

Course, the day I get to be a bit lazy and just do some laundry from the trip and finish unpacking - the cable goes out!! Shnikeys! I hate comcast, I really do. I miss Time Warner Cable. They reset the box and it still doesn't work. I'll wait til the honey gets home and puts her technical mind to work on it - if that doesn't work then I guess we'll have to call a tech out.

I didn't take even close to as many pics on this little trip but I did take a few... including this one of my appetizer of fried green tomatoes topped with goat cheese and chicken salad (made with balsamic vinagrette). I would have never imagined the taste that came from that... here's the picture of the original presentation! Amazing - so, if you ever get to Vegas and want to go where the locals go and don't mind going off strip - The Hash House is the place for you! If you go at lunch - have your leather on cuz that's when the original bikers come out that originally made the place!!

What's not to love about a food with Monkey in it's title....

I love Monkey Bread. I remember waking up to it as a kid, my mom baking it. She did it the real way, making it from scratch - kneading the dough and letting it rise and then roping it around and around the bundt pan. I found the short-cut way to really good Monkey bread that doesn't take all day. So, we enjoyed the hell out of it on a Sunday morning and then I passed along the good cheer this morning to my co-workers.

Course, before you go all thinking I'm a generous sort-of person - my theory is this... If I'm going down then I'm taking as many people with me as possible!! I can't just sneak into Shipleys and buy myself a couple of donuts... I make sure and bring some for other people, too. Again, I want passengers on my short-bus to hell!!!! My co-workers call me evil for this but I know loyalty can be bought with food at work among cubicle buddies!!!!

I survived our heat index of 107 on Saturday. Luckily my little charm played early in the morning and I got to see 3 of the games. The little ones were not excited about this and were not happy to be playing at that time. I wonder if it was us, though, considering they won the next game after I was not there 16-2!!! I didn't even need my terminator vest until the 3rd game. I was tired afterwards but it was so worth it. My little sweetheart did very well and I was so proud of her. I cannot imagine loving a little one so much!!!!

I'm just chillin at home right now - after 40 minutes on the bike at home. It felt wonderful. My legs didn't spasm too much even. I need to get a fan for that room cuz it seemed a little warm but I kept the water in me. Life is pretty good right now. Even better - we're going to Vegas this weekend AND AND AND AND I get to see Bette Midler at Caesar's!!! WOOOO HOOOOO!!!

One of those summers...

In Texas... In SE Texas... Below sea-level... Surrounded by water.. (we have bayous)....

We've already had 3 days with a heat index over 100 this week. Not even normal by our standards. We're supposed to hit 98 tomorrow with a heat index possibly over 110!

Can you do the math? I can (even though I suck at it and was more of the English nerd). Heat+MS=SUCKS ASS!!

My niece, who I must brag about --- is only 8 1/4 and she's playing softball with a 10/11 year-old team --- is playing a softball tournament in the town I'm living in. I haven't been able to really see her recently (I don't see how my brother does it with 3 kiddos!) with her schedule. I'm sooooo psyched to see her play.

Yet, I'm still very crabby right now. Extremely crabby. Why? Because I hate the heat because I might not be able to sit out there for 2 measley games at 9 and 11 am. Without my cooling vest I might not be able to make it through 1 game.

Seriously, I have to "plan" to see my nieces and nephews and friends and friends' kids play anything outside. Because, had the games been at 11 and 1 then I would only be able to make 1 game and have to meet them later for lunch. Because of my fucking MS I have to check the heat index now starting 4 days ago until around, well, November now with this type of Indian summer (and, considering I'm 1/32nd Cherokee I can say that).

WTF? I mean, seriously, I'm worse off than all those other children out there in the hot sun playing baseball and softball that need to drink a ton of gatorade and keep in the shade. Remember as a kid when we did all that? And then went to our bff house and stayed up til 4 am watching who's the boss and hoped to catch a glimpse of Tomcat before he had the cat (and lost his mind?!?!)

I'll have to apologize now for the rambling, no-sense making muck coming from my fingers tonight. I got pissy this evening when the other half made me promise that I would leave the game if she felt I was getting over-heated. Really... no, my niece is not going to have a missing Aunt. I had a favorite aunt growing up and she meant a lot more to me than my mother and other family members sometimes. I'm this aunt with this niece. And, I'm not just bragging. Her dad (my brother) and his wife and my step-mom and dad and other brother have said how much my niece talks about me and worships me... I can't let that down. I'm her Aunt... I'm the one she's going to call/text/cyber-chat at 3 am from her soroirity house at 2 am after she's gotten way too drunk over some stupid jock that cheated on her... me, not anyone else...

Yet, if I can't make a few fucking games now - because of this stupid disease - will I still get that?? I know, there's a lot of gray in that area when she's only 8 1/4 now... but, but, BUTTT-shnickeys limoney-cricket mfucks... it still sucks.

SIGH.

I'll wear my terminator vest and take my coolor to the stands with my 2nd set of ice-packs and hug the shit out of the cutest little blonde that'll hopefully grow out of her scary resemblence to me very soon!!! Not even thinking about the possibilities of not being able to pick her up and twirl her around me with the greatest face.... That'll at least remind me of why I do those damn shots every night, right?

Whopping 100!!...

I cannot believe this is my 100th posting!!! WOW - I know I'm full of it but damn! Good thing I put a filter on... just kidding!!

I was going to get to this post last week but just when you think you've snuck around the corner from your MS... It pops out behind you and scares the pee out of you!!! And I use that analogy because that's exactly what my MS is NOT doing to me!!!

I have noticed that those of us in this MS universe have no problem discussing our bodily functions. We can't - it's too much of our daily vocabulary to ignore it. Then, even if we try - our lovely doctors, nurses, PA's, NP's, and all those other lovely medical professions potty-mouth train us early on...

Last Saturday - normal visit to the in-laws in Jamaica Beach. Didn't feel as active as I normally did but it was the first day of all relaxation since returning from the wedding/honeymoon trip. Didn't think anything of it. Spent all day there and got home and was tired. Normal. Then, Sunday morning happened. I thought I'd been run over by a Mack truck towing a yacht followed by an 18 wheeler moving van. And, on top of that - running a fever. Nothing too high but fear initiated!

Woke up Monday and no better - even worse because later Sunday I developed some horridly horrible stomach cramps and nothing was staying inside the body. And, when I try to empty the bladder, it wants to hold onto it a little longer before releasing it. Fever still there = staying home curled in a ball with the heating pad. Which, was not fun considering I was burning up!! Tuesday was an exact repeat of Monday. Plus, the wonderfully new symptom of a burn where the sun don't shine and there should never be a burn!! When I woke up Wednesday to nothing changed - I finally broke down and called the doc.

Got in later that morning and they suspected what I suspected... the dreaded UTI, possible bladder infection. I peed in their damn cup and gave it back to them. The doc prescribed Macrobid and ordered me without caffeine and chocolate. Let me just pause and give you the image of me while finding out that news: I am a police officer, therefore I own guns. It was also that time of the month for me... SOOOO telling me no chocolate AND caffeine - I warned the doc there might be dire consequences to that order.... I mean, I was planning on going right home after the doc visit but I did have to be in traffic!!! She told me I needed to do that while on the antibiotics. Sigh - let living hell begin.

I go home and start the damn pills. I give up my damn caffeine and chocolate. I still feel like crap the next morning but the fever starts to break. I'm going to the bathroom 80 times an hour due to all the water and cranberry juice I'm drinking. By mid-day I can't look at the TV or my computer or my book because my head starts hurting so bad. I'm thinking it's a major caffeine withdrawal headache - I think I probably drink too much caffeine. I suck it up and take a pain pill and chill. Until Friday when the headache only gets worse and worse and fever starts to become an issue again... I finally break down and call the doc back and let her nurse know how my head's about to explode all over my newly painted walls. She says the doc will call me back..

The doc calls me back and tells me that if the headache doesn't get any better by tomorrow morning she would suggest going to the emergency care clinic. She also tells me to stop the antibiotics - apparently there was not enough bacteria in my pee-pee to make me keep taking such a strong antibiotic. I can also drink a smaller amount of caffeine. I try the caffeine and the headache eases slightly but still have no tolerance for looking at anything. The doc then calls me again Sat morning and tells me that she wants me to come back to the clinic to get some blood drawn for a kidney function test. She knows I have MS and knows that minor bladder issues can cause big MS issues if left un-figured-out. I appreciate her effort and can tell she doesn't like to not have a diagnosis. ( I don't think she's equal to House since I wasn't in an ER with all sorts of crap hooked up to me and besides, I don't have big enough boobs for him.)

I go and let them draw one of the big tubes of blood from me. The first outing from my house since the previous Saturday. We stop for a quick wally-world visit and I'm beat. Literally, almost passing out from exhaustion and nausea has set in. The headache has become a dull roar and manageable. I can watch TV but no reading. I figure I'm going to wait to see what doc says about my blood. The fever has broken and I'm not in the fetal position anymore. Sunday was not too bad. Still not feeling better than 80-85% but that's better than the 5% from Wednesday.

Doc called this morning and now wants me to pee in the bucket for 24 hours. Still working on how I can do that and go to work - I'm thinking that's not going to happen... Hopefully it can be done on the weekend. I can't afford to miss anymore work. Her nurse was supposed to call me back to tell me what clinic to pick up the wonderful supplies for that one... Apparently my creatinine was slightly elevated. And, when I say slightly - mine's apparently 1.04 on a .5 to 1.00 scale. I found one site that said anything between .2 to 1.5 was normal for an adult female... so wondering...

Oh, I did forget to tell y'all about the hot flashes that started around Saturday morning... I feel like I'm burning up and start sweating like I've just run a couple of miles but my temp will be normal - even a low-grade (lowest was around 97.6). And, when I stand up or bend over I get a wonderful head rush full of dizziness and not knowing if I'm going to be able to stand back up or fall flat on my hind-quarters!!! FUN!

You know, I was wondering what the hell I was going to write about for my 100th post... Here I was thinking I was going to write about my MS here lately - and how it had fallen slightly off edge (it's never really in the back of my mind). Doc's nurse said they were concerned because apparently extra creatinine means muscle wasting... and that's not good since my lazy ass has not been doing anything using my muscles lately. And, I have to admit - everything about that phrase scares the holy living crap outta me.

Holy crappola! Maybe I should have tried to limit this post to 100 words. Round 4,287 vs. MS - dammit - no KO for me (and the TKO is a long long long LONG LONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG time coming!)

I have returned... from Niagara Falls!

I have been a bit busy for the last couple of weeks. I had a vacation/wedding/reception to plan. I took that picture up there from our hotel room. That was what we woke up to everyday!! It was so amazing!!!

I have been busy for a little while in this planning (and have been neglecting my online presence) as I get a bit Monica-ish during the planning stage. It did get bad enough where the other half started answering to Chandler due to my manic state!!! AHHAHAHAHA But, it was worth it as it all turned out wonderful!!!

We did all the Falls touristy things... on the Canadian side only. It was soooooo beautiful!! We walked along the horseshoe falls, we went behind the falls, we walked along side the class 6 (the only one in the world according to them) rapids, we took the trolley car over the gorge, we rode into the falls on the Maid of the Mist, and saw how it all was formed! It was soooooo freakin amazing (you're going to get sick of that phrase in this post - just warning you now!!)

We traveled a little south to the wine country of the falls - Niagara on the Lake. We didn't want to be cows in an moo-tour so we created our own little event. We did the wonderful town/main street tour - it was so pretty and quaint and wonderfully relaxing. I do have to share the picture I have of the biggest marshmellow I have ever seen. I only wish there was a way to capture the smell so that others could experience it - the shop smelled awesome and it permeated out onto the street as well!! Here it is:


Can you believe that?!?!? I know - you're wondering why the hell I'm sharing a picture of a marshmellow when I have 300+ pics of the falls?!?!? But, look AT IT!! Can you grasp that it's a t-rex sized marshmellow - and a miniature one for t-rex at that?? The smell was so tempting ... but I resisted until dinner the next day when I got a much, much, much smaller version covered in dark chocolate with rasberry puree sauce with it!! Then we went to the Hillebrand vineyard (here's the link) We stood at that look-out porch shown on the home page! So pretty!

Then, the reason for the visit was Thursday. My partner and I are forever linked from that day forward! It was a wonderful event and we had an amazing day! Sigh - such a terrific day for us that I wish we were still in it!! But, we returned home to a party with our family and friends on that Saturday night and were blessed with such a wondeful outpouring of love and affection. I could've done without one of my really good friends hitting on my father, getting him to announce to everyone he still had a lot of sex appeal left in him (my step-mom WILL LOVE that story!!!!) It was my FATHER!!!!! OMG!!!

And, amazingly enough - my body decided to play nice to me. We did so much while on vacation and I never really had any problems. I had one day where my right arm tried to go all kapluey on me but I reasoned with it nicely and it decided to cooperate (and if you believe that - there's some ocean front property in Arizona I'd like to interest you in purchasing from me...) We did try to take at least 1-2 hours each day in the late afternoon to rest and relax in the hotel room, and so I think that helped. I only had one day where I had to go sit in a restaurant and drink a cool beverage to calm my heat down. So, I was very excited about that.

My left hand decided it wanted to mess with me this past Sunday but I figured it was due so I just let it have it's way with me. I've gotta get the cooling vest out of it's winter hibernation now as we're topping 90+ with 90+ humidity here - gotta love Texas summers!!

Do you need another picture of the falls?? Sure, I'll comply.... here's one of my faves:

Wow - has it been that long... ( and Idol spoiler alert!)

Hmm... okay, don't like that color...

How about this one? Better for me. I had to pause and watch Ms. Abdul on the American Idol stage. What's with her wanna-be britney routine? I actually liked it, either last season or the one before that, when she and the dog collaborated and did that one song. I'll admit to it being on my ipod. It's catchy.

Course, I also have to admit to having Ms. Spears music as well. What can I say - it's perfect workout and mindless music. I'm one of those love music not only for the music but the lyrics. I don't have to worry about those with Ms. Spears... Although that leads to an interesting topic...

Have you heard the latest "song" from Britney? I didn't catch it until a co-worker told me about it. So, repeat this after me - out loud... "If you seek Amy". It might take a couple of times.

Need a few more seconds? Don't feel bad - we are dealing with MS brains!! AHAHHA Dammit myelin - don't fail me now!!!!!

Which brings me around to my sort-of point...

We, meaning the collective that deals with this crappy disease, have to be creative in our pursuit of our daily lives. We get to reinvent words to fit us - not the other way around (and get to use big SAT words and know how to spell it AND what they mean!) Like, I love to bike - I used to love to ride trails (not really even close to being real to say mountain biking in SE Texas!) Now - I still bike. It's just a recumbent stationary bike in a bedroom of my house with the a/c going. And the fan to feel the "wind" whipping my face!!

All of the boys and all of the girls want to IF YOU SEEK AMY. (Does that help with the extra line?)

I went to the neuro last week for my semi-annual visit. It was the shortest visit every - we agreed that the Copaxone was still going good and I seem to be really stable with all my meds. No MRI for now. Made another appoinment for November. I had 4 - yes that is 4!! - MRI's last year with all my back and hip stuff. Obviously, with things going okay right now he's not putting me back in the magnetic napper for now.

I fall dead alseep in them - which can be bad if you jump awake but it's just the hassle of wearing the crack show gown and driving all the way to the clinic and all that stuff. Besides, I've enjoyed my relatively doctor free first half of this year. (and hell yes I knocked on wood immediately after typing that sentence!)

I'd give you another line from the song but I really don't want to open my itunes to get it since we're about to hear the results of tonight's Idol... and so yeah about So You Think You Can Dance coming back this month!! And I am a TV junkie, apparently, so you are not thinking anything that isn't true!! AHHAHAHAH

It's time again to bust out the cooling vest for outdoor activities. We didn't hit 90 until June last year... passed that mark last week. I've had my Jeep partially undressed though since there has been enough of a breeze to keep cool. Okay, I'm bummed Allison is going home... (Maybe I should put a spoiler warning on the title of this blog?) But my 2 faves for winner are Adam and Chris. WOO HOOO!!

I played hookey...

And went down the island and fished all day! What a wonderful way to spend a Friday!! I actually didn't do a true hookey day because I was allowed to take off by my supervisor - but it always feels good to have off and being doing something so totally unrelaed to work that you feel sorry for your co-workers stuck in their cubicles! Well, I at least thought about them for a bit!

I'm paying for it a little bit. My legs are a bit spastic and tight right now but nothing a hard day in the cubicle at work couldn't also have done to me. Right now, I'm kicked back on the couch listening to a wonderful Texas thunderstorms. What's so great about our state's thunderstorms? First off - everything is bigger in Texas... and that includes our rolling rounds of thunder during one of these storms. Now, I will give kudos to Oklahoma/West Arkansas thunder because the way that rolls through the plains and in the lower Ozarks is pretty wonderful, too... But, dang it's a beauty! I do feel a bit sorry for my puppy dog - she does not like any type of rain and thunderstorms really set her off. She's currently under the power of puppy prozak.

It was wonderful at the canals today. I slathered on my spf 50 2 times so I actually have a little bit of cinnamon coloring to me and no burn. Well, you know how you always seem to forget one spot? I only forgot the tops of my hands once when going fishing - talk about painful!!! Geez - I had worthless bear claws for about 3 days after that. And, don't forget your earlobes... it's not that this area hurts, but it does make you look all leperous when you have skin peeling off them. I took off my shoes and socks about half way through today to stick my feet in the water while catching some small croakers. So, the tops of my feet are a little pink. Not too bad, but I'll have to make sure and keep some cream on them so I don't have leperous feet either....

We are under a flood warning again right now. Between the rain last weekend not completely soaking in due to the volume of it - I guess they figure it could create a hazard. Oh well.

I do have to share a very hilarious portion of today. It's still early for the canals to have any keepers that could be filet'd and cooked right now. But, it's still fun to catch the baby croakers and sand troudt and be able to release them and promise to come back bigger! I've just learned how to fish in salt-water and "bottom feed" with a weight on my line. I grew up chasing catfish and troudt in fresh waters and it's a bit different. So, I have to share my BIG catch of the day...



Yes, that little thing next to my foot is an actual fish. It's a baby croaker. I hooked him through his little belly.... And, no, there is nothing wrong with my foot. I don't know why it looks a little retarded. I do need a pedicure but my foot looks like it did back when I did break a small little bone just below my toe that went to the market. But, anyways - This was one of my products of work today. We set him free and we'll have to see if he comes back with his big brothers and sisters later!!

Awesome Texas spring day!>...

We have to enjoy them while they last - before the humidity goes above 60% until Christmas!!

After the monsoon that engulfed us this past Saturday, the weather has been phenomenal since then!! My jeep's top has been down and I'm loving life!! It's not even hot enough yet to require me having my cooling vest on yet for any outdoor activities.

We've been taking the pups for a long walk in the afternoons after work. It's been nice - not too long but good enough to get the heart rate up and the pups some good exercise. It's supposed to be like this most of this week and into the next. We're thinking about playing hookey from work this Friday and head down to the island.

Relax in the sun and cast the fishing line!! It might be a little windy on the coast but anything's better than being at work on a Friday!! HAAHHAHHAAHAHAH

Okay - I had to yell at the tv for a few minutes!! My freakin' Astros had the bases loaded with 0, zip, nada, zero outs and only scored 1 freakn' run with a walk. Seriously? We left 13 on base the other night - and it wasn't even a double header~!!! Sorry - I get a little fiesty with baseball. At least this isn't an audio blog and y'all don't have listen to me whine about it... :]

Made my annual neuro appointment today for next week. Got to get the refill on the shots - I hate being a good little patient! Probably need to mention to the doc that I've had 2 more of those anxiety attacks after my copaxone shot. None of them has lasted more than 10-15 minutes, but it still sucks a rotten lemon! This last one happened this past Friday night...

Mine reaction starts with an extreme heat wave to the face and I immediately break out in a sweat... So bad it pores down my cheeks! Then, I CAN'T BREATHE! I start gasping and thrashing and choking. Luckily the other half has been there each time to talk me into an attempt to get me to relax. At least I haven't passed out since that first one. The chest hurts so hard - and it goes into my arms and neck. I remember the nurse telling me it usually happened around the 2nd or 3rd year of the shots but I don't remember them saying it would happen all that often.

I'm not going to change meds. I'm doing good on Copaxone. I've gotten used to the shot.. and I have noticed that the smaller guage of the needle has made a difference the whelps and redness after the shots. That's good! So, I'm noticing a bit of anxiety as I think about having to do my shot. I do it right before I go to sleep. You wouldn't think that would be good to send me off to sleep but it does actually work... Hence the sudden shift in this post.. I started wrapping it up thinking about needing to do my shot...

Coming in out of the rain...

I know I've been a bit bitchy about how much my yard's been begging for rain. And, how the last couple of fronts to come through here have missed us down south here. However, I'm now glad we got the rain but holy shnikeys - did we ever get rain!!

This one is right in front of our house. You can just see the sidewalk that's right behind the fire hydrant. It came up about another 2 feet from when this pic was taken. We got 6" in an hour - including 3 inches in 12 minutes!! We were flooded in. Our neighbor had to park his car at the end of the block and walk to his house.



Notice our cul-de-sac is GONE!!! The rain got about to the top of the tires on that minivan. It was scary for a bit. The power went out a couple of times for brief periods so we ended up just keeping it off. We turned it back on a little while later - just in time to hear the tornado warnings for our area. At least that part of the front went through very quickly.

Spoke with fam a little further south and they had yard furniture flying around the yard. Now, the sun is out and at least we got enough water to last us a bit. I think we caught up with where we were supposed to be for the year.

I just wish there was a 3rd day to the weekend!!! Not going to do much of anything today. Did a lot yesterday. Got all the pics hung back on the wall and now the house is completely back to normal. It felt weird having empty walls. I knew one couple that moved houses and the hung pics are usually the last things up. Well, their cat went bonkers and the vet told them it was probably because of nothing on the walls. Weird, huh??

Got my hand back (obviously!) and it was just sore the next day. Apparently I was chasing some squirrels this morning, but not much going on right now. I did have another experience after my copaxone shot on Friday night. Chest seizes up and I start sweating and getting all red and can't breathe. This one only lasted about 5 minutes but it still scares the crap outta me. I don't like it. Don't know of anything I'm doing different on one night vs another to bring it on. Oh well. It's time to go see the neuro anyways... the scrip is about to run out so I gotta go do the monkey dance to get the refill on the never-ending shots.

Have you noticed?...

The new mobile blogging feature??? Hmmmmm......

Want to gripe about the was this crappy disease has affected me today. Unfortunately it has caused a loss of use of my left hand for most of today. Sorta hard to type.

So, this saves you from hearing about my gripes (today). hahahahahahahahahaha

Seriously - my hand? It started in my thumb....pulled it in and hasn't let go. It will. Sux til then.

Thanks for letting me gripe though - it is blog reader appreciation day!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy shnikeys... I can TYPE!...

A lot. Sorry! I just re-read yesterday's post. I noticed my shoulders felt better today after getting that load off though!! HAHAHAHAHHAHHHA

So, I'm a big country music fan. I love music!! And, although I did not like this particular artist upon her arrival on the scene but now I'm a big fan of Leann Rimes. I like the way her voice has matured and she seems to find good songs and helps write some of the songs. So, I found this page through some of my world wide web stops along the way...

http://www.leannrimesworld.com/wicc/

This is a site called "What I Cannot Change" - it allows people to post with or without their names. It allows people to put out there things they deal with that they cannot change. I read threw some of them and there's some drug/alcohol abuse, physical disability, mental disability, dealing with others with issues, etc... I'm sure there's some posts about MS in there.

How could there not be? If I could change it - I would. Who wouldn't? There's no way in hell that anyone, if they COULD change it, would not get rid of their MS. We can't, though. There is no cure. There's only treatments. Course, (warning - stepping up on a soap-box!) I personally believe that the conspiracy theorists have this one right - drug companies aren't going to let the scientists publish the cure they find because there's no $$$$ in that!

Okay, stepping off my soap-box!

Are there changes we can make to make dealing with this crappy-ass disease better? Yup. Let's see, I've resigned myself I will just have to go the rest of my life as one of the whitest-white girls now that I will no longer be going out in the sun long enough to get any visible color change - on top of the SPF1000 I have to wear! I will choose to look like the biggest dork in the world when I wear my cooling vest in public! I will only be able to make fun of all my drunk friends in a hot tub since I'll be the only one NOT in it! My love-handles are going to have to be accepted for now - my body no longer allows my running shoes to be used to their full potential! My mountain bike will have to resign itself to its retirement from me and will have to move onto another faithful pedlar!!

Sigh, these are just a few of the things I would like to change. So, here's how I have changed. I like being a pasty-white girl --- earth tones are good for me!! They now make sunscreen with a hint of color!! The cooling vest is a good conversation piece -- either about MS or whatever! Isn't laughing at our drunk friends the best kind of fun?!??!?! I still get to buy some pretty cool running shoes in my fave colors - you can even customize at Nike.com!! I think trikes or recumbent bikes are waaaaaaaaaay cool - lots more places to stick all sorts of neat stickers!!

Had a great swim yesterday - even added some ab exercises at the end. It burned a little bit but in that good way. Been walking with the pups after work a couple of times this week. They love it and it's good for all of us. My 10 year-old lab has got some arthritis in her left hip. She's on meds and so it was sore the other day after the walk and she's gotta take it easy, but she knows I feel her pain!!